Yaaaay Real Housewives of New York! At this point in my life, there are few things that give me as much pleasure as that show does. That might sound sad and pathetic, but my life is very fulfilled by this show [ok, wait, that was the sad and pathetic part].
There were really only two portions of this episode that mattered, the first being Alex and Simon's house-makeover-warming party in Brooklyn. Let's note a few things:
1) Kelly was the first to arrive at the party and proceeded to ask A&S "If we were in New York, what part would we be in?" Now, granted, I'm no New Yorker, but there's this little concept called a borough. Sometimes they are grouped in fives. Sometimes all five are a part of New York City. But again, I'm no expert! Alex then turned her nose in the air and was all like, "Oh My Gawd, people act like it is such an inconvenience to cross that dang ole bridge, but it's only a 5 minute town car ride from Manhattan!" Ahmm. Again, I'm no native, but I feel fairly confident that it does not only take 5 minutes [in fact, GoogleMaps kindly tells me that it is a 14 minute drive]. But, who knows, perhaps Alex is riding in magical "town cars"- it is the lowly cabs [ew] that take oh so long to get to Brooklyn.
2) Their house. Oh. My. Stars. Red and Black bordello style? How does Simon even imagine he can fool us into thinking he's straight?? And here's the real kicker- does Alex actually not know??? I just can't tell. I'm just gonna say it, not that we had any doubts, but Ramona straight called this shizz! She may be one breath away from thatbitchisstraightupcrazy town, but her gaydar is on straight [no pun intended].
3) Did anyone else notice the absence of The Countess?? Evidently, a five minute "town car ride" is simply beneath her. She only goes to Brooklyn to tell underpriviledged black children that they are too fat to be models.
The second thing worth noting from this episode is Bethenny vs. Kelly, Round 2 {Ding!}.
What the fuzzz is the matter with Kelly? Is she on crack? I loooooooved how she tried to turn the whole "I'm up here, you're down here, we don't talk" thing around on Bethenny and pretend that Bethenny was the one who said it. Genius!!! If I had been Bethenny I would've said, "Bitch hold on!", gotten the producer on the line and demanded he get some Brass Monkey's footage to Jill Zarins house IMMEDIATELY. You know that happened at some point- I'm DYING to know what Kelly said when she saw that episode air. Why all the other housewives seem to be so enamored with her I just don't understand. Why can't this be like The Real Housewives of Orange County where everyone HATED Gretchen? That was waaaaay more fun than everyone trying to play nicey nice for the cameras. Screw that, bring the dramz!
On another note, did you see the preview for next week? What on earth happens? Jill kicks Bethenny out of the charity event?????????????????????? THE HELL YOU SAY! Don't mess with my Bethie, Jill Zarin. You're my second favorite NY housewife and I don't want to break up with you, but [sniff, sniff] on Ginger's life, I'll do it! I simply MUST know what happens, and I'll bet the million dollars that I don't have that Kelly's bitch ass is behind it. I can't wait- only six more days!!!
