The Ex-Factor

Exes. Dun-dun-dun. We've all got them.

But what we dont all have is the ability to get over them. Why is that? They're clearly an ex for a reason (ex here describing the full scale of exes from those you were head over heels in love with and dated for years to those who you may have casually dated for a short amount of time). The cliche reason that people have exes is because there was an eternally fatal flaw in the relationship but both parties could grow and learn from the experience and ultimately the pain of breaking up would lead to a new relationship with a new person where these flaws wouldn't exist, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah right.

Inevitably, relationships end because someone royally fucked something up probably scarring the other person for good and wasn't a big enough person to apologize for what they did. Rarely are break ups a mutual decision ( but God bless those who can have a mutual break up and continue a friendship). Why is it so hard to apologize when you've hurt someone or knowingly done something shitty. The feelings rarely go away just because you've been injured- the opportunity for a second chance will most likely exist (even if your ex triumphantly states that they dont give second chances- been there).

Why is it even harder to eventually be fully happy in a relationship where none of these problems exist? It's completely non sensical to look back and wonder "what if?" when you should be looking forward with the person you are with and saying "what if...!"

Why is it so easy to convince yourself that your feelings are gone, but can't necessarily keep your stomach from lurching when the ex shows up at a party or is spoken of by mutual friends?

Why is it so easy for the ex to ruin your happiness without even trying?

Why is it so easy to blame it all on them when really we are the only ones standing in the way of our happiness?