Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End the World- Part 2
#3.Strange Matter
As you've probably worked out by now, there's some weird shit out there in the world of science. That's because a whole lot of the fundamental theories about reality are based on mathematical equations rather than actual observation. So there are all sorts of things out there that seem to exist in theory, but we've never seen them. At least one scientist has suggested that if we ever saw them with our own eyes, it's likely that we would start screaming and never stop. Well, it wasn't so much a scientists as HP Lovecraft.
Anyway, Strange matter is one of these things. It's a hypothetical material made up of quarks, which are one of the building blocks of reality, things so small that you can't even possibly imagine. Seriously, don't even try to think about it.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
There are two hypotheses about strange matter. One is that the stuff will simply disappear a fraction of a second after it appears. The other is that it will stabilize and convert every atom it comes in contact with into more strange matter. It could go either way, really.
There's a theory that there are entire stars out there in the universe that are made out of strange matter, just because a microscopic fragment of the stuff made contact once and then everything went to hell.
Now imagine, just theoretically, if some of this strange matter should appear on Earth. And, just theoretically, it should be stable enough to start a reaction with regular matter. Theoretically, we'd all be fucking dead.
Not Pictured: Life.
So, Basically It's Like...
Imagine you're like the fabled King Midas, and you have the power to convert matter with a single touch. Except that instead of gold, everything you touch turns into shit. And everything it touches turns to shit. Before you know it, the whole world is shit, and it's all your fault.
How Long Have We Got?
Luckily for us, strange matter can only be created in high-energy particle collisions, and nothing like that ever happens here, right? Oh, wait.
Meet the Large Hadron Collider. Again.
That's right, our friends at the LHC project expect a lot of weird things to pop up when they start smashing atoms together, and strange matter is one such possibility. That's why scientists have written papers with boring titles such as Will Relativistic Heavy-ion Colliders Destroy Our Planet?, the rebuttals to which were basically, "Let's turn them on and find out!"
At this point we're kind of wondering whether there's anything this machine can do that doesn't involve killing you and everyone you care about.
Risk Level: 5
Scientists respond to the strange matter problem by saying if it was ever going to happen, it would have happened already (since these kind of reactions happen a zillion times a second in our atmosphere anyway). We like to call this piece of rhetoric the cop-out hypothesis, because they know damned well that if it turns out they're wrong, there won't be anyone left to sue them.
As you've probably worked out by now, there's some weird shit out there in the world of science. That's because a whole lot of the fundamental theories about reality are based on mathematical equations rather than actual observation. So there are all sorts of things out there that seem to exist in theory, but we've never seen them. At least one scientist has suggested that if we ever saw them with our own eyes, it's likely that we would start screaming and never stop. Well, it wasn't so much a scientists as HP Lovecraft.
Anyway, Strange matter is one of these things. It's a hypothetical material made up of quarks, which are one of the building blocks of reality, things so small that you can't even possibly imagine. Seriously, don't even try to think about it.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
There are two hypotheses about strange matter. One is that the stuff will simply disappear a fraction of a second after it appears. The other is that it will stabilize and convert every atom it comes in contact with into more strange matter. It could go either way, really.
There's a theory that there are entire stars out there in the universe that are made out of strange matter, just because a microscopic fragment of the stuff made contact once and then everything went to hell.
Now imagine, just theoretically, if some of this strange matter should appear on Earth. And, just theoretically, it should be stable enough to start a reaction with regular matter. Theoretically, we'd all be fucking dead.
Not Pictured: Life.
So, Basically It's Like...
Imagine you're like the fabled King Midas, and you have the power to convert matter with a single touch. Except that instead of gold, everything you touch turns into shit. And everything it touches turns to shit. Before you know it, the whole world is shit, and it's all your fault.
How Long Have We Got?
Luckily for us, strange matter can only be created in high-energy particle collisions, and nothing like that ever happens here, right? Oh, wait.
Meet the Large Hadron Collider. Again.
That's right, our friends at the LHC project expect a lot of weird things to pop up when they start smashing atoms together, and strange matter is one such possibility. That's why scientists have written papers with boring titles such as Will Relativistic Heavy-ion Colliders Destroy Our Planet?, the rebuttals to which were basically, "Let's turn them on and find out!"
At this point we're kind of wondering whether there's anything this machine can do that doesn't involve killing you and everyone you care about.
Risk Level: 5
Scientists respond to the strange matter problem by saying if it was ever going to happen, it would have happened already (since these kind of reactions happen a zillion times a second in our atmosphere anyway). We like to call this piece of rhetoric the cop-out hypothesis, because they know damned well that if it turns out they're wrong, there won't be anyone left to sue them.
This Pill Will Change Your Life
In the not-so-distant future, these drugs--already in the works--will change how we live, and even how we die
Exercise Pill
Why spend the time and money on a gym membership when you can just pop a pill? An obvious future bestseller (and possibly the final fulfillment of the American dream), the pill that mimics exercise has been under development for some time. Developed at the Salk Institute in California, the pill caused sedentary mice to burn fat no matter how lazy they were. This pill would be for more than vanity, though, as obesity has grown into one of America’s biggest public health problems. A pill like this could both help the healthcare system and get you the six pack abs you want without having to step foot in a gym.
Find out about the other 5 miracle pills here
Exercise Pill
Why spend the time and money on a gym membership when you can just pop a pill? An obvious future bestseller (and possibly the final fulfillment of the American dream), the pill that mimics exercise has been under development for some time. Developed at the Salk Institute in California, the pill caused sedentary mice to burn fat no matter how lazy they were. This pill would be for more than vanity, though, as obesity has grown into one of America’s biggest public health problems. A pill like this could both help the healthcare system and get you the six pack abs you want without having to step foot in a gym.
Find out about the other 5 miracle pills here
The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End the World- Part 1
#5.Recreating the Big Bang
Scientists are kind of pissed that they weren't around when the Big Bang happened. Here we had an event that holds all of the secrets to reality, and we missed it because we were lazy enough not to evolve for another 13 billion years.
The solution, science says, is to make it happen again. They assure us that they can stage a new Big Bang if they smash some protons together really, really fucking hard. In fact, they can make a million of them per second, which is 999,999 more than God managed.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Well, first imagine an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust. Multiply that by about one hundred and twenty thousand billion, and then multiply that by around the neighborhood of infinity. That equals around one eighth of the magnitude of the Big Bang. Nevertheless, scientists are pretty sure they can contain their Big Bang in an erlenmeyer flask, just so long as they remember to cork it.
So, Basically It's Like...
Imagine you have a huge tanker truck parked outside a children's hospital. You don't know what's inside it, but you're fairly confident that it's either a cure for cancer, or 20,000 gallons of explosive nitroglycerin. To find out which, you have to shoot at it with an AK-47.
How Long Have We Got?
Meet the Large Hadron Collider.
This is not only the largest particle accelerator ever built, it's the largest anything ever built. Originally set to come online in 2005, then delayed until September 2008, the LHC will fire very small objects around its 17-mile circumference at close to the speed of light, before smashing the shit out of them and watching what comes out.
The problem, of course, is that even the eggheads don't really know what's going to happen, which is sort of why they're doing it in the first place. That's also why a lawsuit was filed to put a stop to it. Scientists on the LHC project insist there is no danger, and predict that the resulting observations could revolutionize science and send us into a golden age of knowledge, in the event that we actually survive.
Risk Level: 3
Experts assure us that based on everything we know about science, the chances of doom are fairly slim. Experts also say LHC will change everything we know about science. So there is a certain chance that one of the brand new things they learn about the LHC is that the LHC has the ability turn the entire planet into a fine cloud of particles.
Find the full aritcle at http://www.cracked.com/article_16583_5-scientific-experiments-most-likely-end-world.html
Scientists are kind of pissed that they weren't around when the Big Bang happened. Here we had an event that holds all of the secrets to reality, and we missed it because we were lazy enough not to evolve for another 13 billion years.
The solution, science says, is to make it happen again. They assure us that they can stage a new Big Bang if they smash some protons together really, really fucking hard. In fact, they can make a million of them per second, which is 999,999 more than God managed.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Well, first imagine an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust. Multiply that by about one hundred and twenty thousand billion, and then multiply that by around the neighborhood of infinity. That equals around one eighth of the magnitude of the Big Bang. Nevertheless, scientists are pretty sure they can contain their Big Bang in an erlenmeyer flask, just so long as they remember to cork it.
So, Basically It's Like...
Imagine you have a huge tanker truck parked outside a children's hospital. You don't know what's inside it, but you're fairly confident that it's either a cure for cancer, or 20,000 gallons of explosive nitroglycerin. To find out which, you have to shoot at it with an AK-47.
How Long Have We Got?
Meet the Large Hadron Collider.
This is not only the largest particle accelerator ever built, it's the largest anything ever built. Originally set to come online in 2005, then delayed until September 2008, the LHC will fire very small objects around its 17-mile circumference at close to the speed of light, before smashing the shit out of them and watching what comes out.
The problem, of course, is that even the eggheads don't really know what's going to happen, which is sort of why they're doing it in the first place. That's also why a lawsuit was filed to put a stop to it. Scientists on the LHC project insist there is no danger, and predict that the resulting observations could revolutionize science and send us into a golden age of knowledge, in the event that we actually survive.
Risk Level: 3
Experts assure us that based on everything we know about science, the chances of doom are fairly slim. Experts also say LHC will change everything we know about science. So there is a certain chance that one of the brand new things they learn about the LHC is that the LHC has the ability turn the entire planet into a fine cloud of particles.
Find the full aritcle at http://www.cracked.com/article_16583_5-scientific-experiments-most-likely-end-world.html
Monday, August 25, 2008
Things I Recommend
This stuff is absolutely INCREDIBLE. If you have dry skin of any kind, this ought to clear it right up. it's is the softest, most velvety body butter I have ever experienced. It leaves your skin feeling soft and smoother for hours, and as an added bonus has a wonderfully light scent that is reminiscent of CK One (throwbacks!) Buy it here.Also, while purchasing this wonderful Body Butter at Sephora, I was given a sample of a new
Philosophy product ( a brand i LOVE) called The Microdelivery Exfoliating Wash. Looooove this stuff. For those of you with sensitive skin, this has absolutely no scent. It feels just every so slightly gritty on your fingers and face, and I have to say right away I couldn't tell a difference. The next day, however, I put on moisturizer and no makeup and everytime I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror I would think "Why does my face look so good" ( and trust me, this is not a thought I think often). I finally realized that it just had a glow about it and the only logical answer was the Philosophy sample I had been given. Luckily, each sample contains enough product for 2 uses, and I have another left. It only runs about $25, but if that's just a bit much for you to commit to, run to Sephora and ask for a sample or two. If I've already won you over, then purchase it hereAnother Movie Musing.....
Trailers could quite possibly be the best part of movie time. Last night before Step Brothers there was a trailer for He's Just Not That Into You (um, done and done. Way to go movie marketers, I will be there!) and also the new Oliver Stone film W.
Now, anyone who knows me probably knows that I'm not a Bush supporter. It's very likely that he'll go down in history as one of the worst Presidents we've ever had. But I also think that this movie miiiight be a pinch inappropriate for the time. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that this movie shouldn't have been made and should never be released. I just think that maybe we should have a little respect for the office of the Presidency and AT LEAST wait until there is a new president in office to release this film ( essentially push the release back 3-4 months. Release date is vague right now, it just says "Coming This Fall").
It almost feels like when the movies were made about 9/11 and people were saying "Too soon"......our country is in such a divded state right now, it feels like this movie will do nothing to help that. It looks as though it will be a really good movie, I just feel uneasy about the timing.
One of the greatest things about being an American is having the right to free speech and being able to openly criticize our government without fear of repercussion, but if WE do not offer Respect to the office (hear me correctly, not necessarily the person, but at least the office), then how can we expect any other country to respect us as a country?
Thoughts?
Now, anyone who knows me probably knows that I'm not a Bush supporter. It's very likely that he'll go down in history as one of the worst Presidents we've ever had. But I also think that this movie miiiight be a pinch inappropriate for the time. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that this movie shouldn't have been made and should never be released. I just think that maybe we should have a little respect for the office of the Presidency and AT LEAST wait until there is a new president in office to release this film ( essentially push the release back 3-4 months. Release date is vague right now, it just says "Coming This Fall").
It almost feels like when the movies were made about 9/11 and people were saying "Too soon"......our country is in such a divded state right now, it feels like this movie will do nothing to help that. It looks as though it will be a really good movie, I just feel uneasy about the timing.
One of the greatest things about being an American is having the right to free speech and being able to openly criticize our government without fear of repercussion, but if WE do not offer Respect to the office (hear me correctly, not necessarily the person, but at least the office), then how can we expect any other country to respect us as a country?
Thoughts?
Step Brothers
It was so rainy and dreary here yesterday that I just had to go see a movie. I haven't been to the "theater daaahling" in quite sometime (not since the Dark Knight- Evan come home!) so my list of movies I've been wanting to see had kind of stacked up.It was a toss up about which one to see, but we settled on Step Brothers- one we all had heard was pretty great.
Well.......the movie is really great in the beginning. I laughed a lot for maybe the first half. But then it just kind of seemed that they ran out of material. I'm not one to really be offended by crude language or jokes, but when you're relying on the "f" word to get a laugh, it gets pretty old pretty quick. Gimme a funny joke with a wordy dird in it and I'm all about it, but give me just a "fuck" and expect me to laugh? Not worth my $8.
It got kiiiiinda funny again at the end, but not enough to make me think that they hadn't completely lost their focus.
Overall, a pretty funny film, but one that you could definitely save your money on and rent. I give it a B-. See the trailer below.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Dogs
I love dogs. I love dogs not just for their cuteness and cuddliness, but because they are loyal. Sometimes loyal to a fault. But a dog will pretty much never leave you (unless you give it away- sorry Wally).
Unfortunately, people are not the same- which is ironic if you think about it because humans that lack these qualities are often called "dogs" themselves. People for the most part just can't be trusted. Some are fortunate to have in their lives a whole army of loving and supportive people who would be there for them at a moments notice. Others are lucky to only have one or two.
It is for that reason that it is hard for some to open up, to trust other people outside of their very small circle. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes people prove themselves to be exactly what you need in your life, and they proclaim that they can fill a void.
So it pretty much sucks when it turns out that none of that was true.
So for those of you in my life that aren't loyal and won't have my back when I need you to- stay out of my small circle. Because you know what? I'd have yours when you need me to. I would have had yours. Stay out of my small circle. I don't need anyone else in my life who will hurt me.
Unfortunately, people are not the same- which is ironic if you think about it because humans that lack these qualities are often called "dogs" themselves. People for the most part just can't be trusted. Some are fortunate to have in their lives a whole army of loving and supportive people who would be there for them at a moments notice. Others are lucky to only have one or two.
It is for that reason that it is hard for some to open up, to trust other people outside of their very small circle. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes people prove themselves to be exactly what you need in your life, and they proclaim that they can fill a void.
So it pretty much sucks when it turns out that none of that was true.
So for those of you in my life that aren't loyal and won't have my back when I need you to- stay out of my small circle. Because you know what? I'd have yours when you need me to. I would have had yours. Stay out of my small circle. I don't need anyone else in my life who will hurt me.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Don't Make Me Tell You Again
Dear Jessica Simpson,
I've posted about you before. I've said some nice things about you, and tried to give you some advice (I'm full of wisdom). But I'm going to give you a warning ONE time, so listen carefully. Do NOT go up against Carrie Underwood. Don't do it in the media, or in the music.
Now from what you say in this article, you respect Carrie and think she has one of the best young voices in Country Music. To that I say: You're exactly right. You also say that there is no fued between the two of you, but then you proceed to say this:
I've posted about you before. I've said some nice things about you, and tried to give you some advice (I'm full of wisdom). But I'm going to give you a warning ONE time, so listen carefully. Do NOT go up against Carrie Underwood. Don't do it in the media, or in the music.
Now from what you say in this article, you respect Carrie and think she has one of the best young voices in Country Music. To that I say: You're exactly right. You also say that there is no fued between the two of you, but then you proceed to say this:
That guy is Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, who was briefly linked to Underwood last year. Romo is now in a serious relationship with Simpson. But Underwood recently told Allure magazine that he still calls her."I don't understand why she would say that," Simpson recently told a San Francisco radio station. "I respect Carrie, and I would never say anything like that."
I think that if you had actually read the article you would see where Carrie plainly said that she and Tony never actually dated. I digress- the point is that if you don't want the media to write about a non existent fued, don't fuel the fire.
For your own good, don't go head to head against the Carrie Underwood powerhouse. Country music will pick her everytime.
He lair e us!
Um, so I couldn't sleep last night b/c a Ralphie May comedy special was on and I was laughing SO HARD. This guys is FUN-NY! So I've dubbed today Ralphie May day! Enjoy.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Project Ruuuuunway!!!
Ok, so, what an interesting challenge! it was definitely a different aesthetic for the designers, but I gotta be honest.....not that different from the challenge last season with the wrestlers. Female wrestlers and drag queens......kiiiiiiinda the same thing.Not sure if this is another Bravo thing (there have been a few "repeat" challenges this season) or if the writers just don't have their thinking caps on but somebody needs to MAKE IT WORK!
I actually agreed with the judges this week. The person who got sent home this week definitely deserved it. He was a no talent titty baby. I'm shocked that he didn't cry when he got the boot. Go home! Put your money where your mouth is.
And as much as I hate to say it, I actually kind of......lliiiiked Stella's dress this week. And I didn't think she should go home. But next week. Next week Stella! I'm gunnin for ya.
I actually agreed with the judges this week. The person who got sent home this week definitely deserved it. He was a no talent titty baby. I'm shocked that he didn't cry when he got the boot. Go home! Put your money where your mouth is.
And as much as I hate to say it, I actually kind of......lliiiiked Stella's dress this week. And I didn't think she should go home. But next week. Next week Stella! I'm gunnin for ya.
The Hills
Ok, I'm about 3 days late on my Hills post but here it is. Woohoo! It's back. The best worst show on television. I'm an increasingly more embarassed with my obsession of the Hills, but I also kind of just don't care. I don't care if they have to reshoot scenes and there are discrepancies or not - the drama is real folks!
Audrina to Lo: "We'll never be friends". DAYUM! Girl got told! That's like a snap in the shape of a Z right there. And I'm really struggling- I don't know whose side to be on. I like Lo's sense of humor, but it's true, she's a bitch, and Audrina is very different than Lo.....they should both be trying harder to get along b/c they live together! What Audrina said was kind of mean- but Lo kinda deserved it.
Oh the turmoil that goes on in my heart as a result of this show.
Well, at least some things never change. Spencer is stil a dick (that looks like Beavis- or Butthead......I'm actually not sure. But one of those!), Heidi continues to get plastic surgery and looks more different this season than the last, Whitney is still adorable. I just love her. That girl's got class.
I will be muy sad if this is the last season, but at some point you have to be real with yourself. I've realized that I'll be 24 this year and have no prospective husbands. So, Lauren Conrad and the cast of the Hills, maybe it's best for both of us if this is the last season of the Hills. It might just be time for me to get a life.
I leave you with music from the Hills.
Nashville (and Belmont's!) own David Condos
Audrina to Lo: "We'll never be friends". DAYUM! Girl got told! That's like a snap in the shape of a Z right there. And I'm really struggling- I don't know whose side to be on. I like Lo's sense of humor, but it's true, she's a bitch, and Audrina is very different than Lo.....they should both be trying harder to get along b/c they live together! What Audrina said was kind of mean- but Lo kinda deserved it.
Oh the turmoil that goes on in my heart as a result of this show.
Well, at least some things never change. Spencer is stil a dick (that looks like Beavis- or Butthead......I'm actually not sure. But one of those!), Heidi continues to get plastic surgery and looks more different this season than the last, Whitney is still adorable. I just love her. That girl's got class.
I will be muy sad if this is the last season, but at some point you have to be real with yourself. I've realized that I'll be 24 this year and have no prospective husbands. So, Lauren Conrad and the cast of the Hills, maybe it's best for both of us if this is the last season of the Hills. It might just be time for me to get a life.
I leave you with music from the Hills.
Nashville (and Belmont's!) own David Condos
Crap Channel
I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE Clear Channel. I hate them! (Are you feeling the hate?).
I've always had a general distrust for radio stations who play what the labels pay them to play as opposed to what is actually good music, BUT, I will admit that I do still listening to a few Clear Channel stations here in the 'Ville.
However, my hatred grew recently as one of our local stations, The River, started to play Coldplay's single "Viva La Vida" approximately TWO MONTHS after the cd was released. This burns me because it was very, very obvious that they were just waiting to see how well the song did before adding it to their playlist. I can't speak for other markets, but I know Nashville just recently started playing this, while our Independent station has been playing it ever since the cd was released.
Think about it- when was the last time that you heard a Coldplay song on a Clearchannel station? It's been a hot minute. It's because their programming is full of Miley Cyrus, and Duffy, and Fergie, and the shitty stuff. That sounded harsh- it's not that I don't want them to play these artists and the straight pop music etc, it's just that i want them to mix in the good music every once in awhile without waiting to see if other people are going to like it first.
One day I am going to be RICH and I'm going to buy Clear Channel and we're going to play whatever music we want. So there!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sad Day
Amy Poehler has left SNL. I've been hanging onto that show for dear life hoping it wouldn't go in the crapper after all of the (seemingly) funniest people have left. And now Amy. Oh Amy. We will miss you so!
Never fear, she has not left television for good, for she will be on the new "spinoff" of The Office on NBC. But it's just not the same.
Kritin Wigg, I leave the torch in your hands. You can make this show funny again. You can. YOU CAN!!!!
Never fear, she has not left television for good, for she will be on the new "spinoff" of The Office on NBC. But it's just not the same.
Kritin Wigg, I leave the torch in your hands. You can make this show funny again. You can. YOU CAN!!!!
Out with the Old, In With the New
Amy Poehler won't be returning to SNL this season (sad). But it appears that someone very funny will be taking her place (happy. See below.)
You've Got To Be Kidding
THIS article has got to be the most ridiculous thing i have ever read. Spencer Pratt: "Jesus and I Are Making the Connection". Are you joking????
Now I'm not one to judge another person's faith or relationship with God, but I can't help put wonder if the PR machines that are Heidi and Spencer are just talking about God and Jesus to drum up some more publicity and prolong their 15 minutes of fame as much as possible. They know that Lauren is intending for this to be the last season of The Hills, and what are they supposed to do when that is over?
Look I think it's great if you want to tell people about your relationship with God.....but only if you MEAN IT. No one is perfect, we all fall short of who we want to be and who we should be. You should be treating people with love and respect anyway, but ESPECIALLY if you know that your actions are going to be broadcast on a major television show to millions of people, ESPECIALLY if those actions are going to directly contradict what you tell the media about how you live your life.
Step up to the plate and be honest with everyone, especially yourself, or change the way you act.
Now I'm not one to judge another person's faith or relationship with God, but I can't help put wonder if the PR machines that are Heidi and Spencer are just talking about God and Jesus to drum up some more publicity and prolong their 15 minutes of fame as much as possible. They know that Lauren is intending for this to be the last season of The Hills, and what are they supposed to do when that is over?
Look I think it's great if you want to tell people about your relationship with God.....but only if you MEAN IT. No one is perfect, we all fall short of who we want to be and who we should be. You should be treating people with love and respect anyway, but ESPECIALLY if you know that your actions are going to be broadcast on a major television show to millions of people, ESPECIALLY if those actions are going to directly contradict what you tell the media about how you live your life.
Step up to the plate and be honest with everyone, especially yourself, or change the way you act.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I hate to say I told you so.....
...but I did. I knew that Jen and John wouldn't last. But I'm not one to revel in a broken relationship- I'm not Perez Hilton after all. But I greatly respect the fact that John Mayer spoke with paps on the streets of New York recently to defend himself and Jennifer Anniston and to basically say "this is what happened, this is not what happened. she's great. this sucks" You can watch the vid on TMZ .
One of my favorite quotes from the, er, "interview" is "You’re either a cheater or you break up and I’m not the first one". ZING!
As a result of his honesty, today is John Mayer day at work, and we are currently listening to Where The Light Is .
One of my favorite quotes from the, er, "interview" is "You’re either a cheater or you break up and I’m not the first one". ZING!
As a result of his honesty, today is John Mayer day at work, and we are currently listening to Where The Light Is .
Friday, August 15, 2008
One Cell in the Sea....
I can't believe it's been right around a year since my obsession with this cd began (and has yet to end). Let A Fine Frenzy grace your life with it's presence.
Under My Skin
Ads We Hate
The most annoying commercials in the universe.
By Seth Stevenson
(I've picked a few of my favs but click here for the full article)
I'll get things started with one of my own recent unfaves: the Lincoln Financial Group spots in which people's older, future selves travel back in time to offer guidance. In one, a man is sitting on a plane preparing for takeoff when suddenly his wrinkly future self takes the adjacent seat, looks over, and commends his younger self for saving money by flying coach. After some anodyne advice about the importance of financial planning, the future dude stands up to leave. "Where are you going?" the younger man asks his elder self. "Back to first class; we can afford it now," smiles the older him.
So many problems here. First, the passenger manifest would show two people with the same Social Security number boarding the flight. TSA red flag! But more important: The plane would explode the instant the old man sat down. We all know that meeting a past/future incarnation of ourselves will cause a violent rip in the space-time continuum. And finally: Screw you, future me! You think you're better than present me? It's crowded back here, and there're babies crying! So cough up the first-class ticket, gramps, or I buy a yacht and drain your nascent retirement accounts. Yup, I'll be paying the penalty for early withdrawal, too. We'll see who's smug then!
But wait, there's an even worse Lincoln Financial spot: A woman is waiting in a hospital hallway, her husband apparently in grave danger, when she meets her future self. "How's he doing?" asks the supernatural visitor, and the woman replies that she doesn't know. The future her then launches into an earnest lecture about the importance of good investing. ("We have a plan to help grow and protect our money throughout our life.") Only at the very end of this speech does she casually tack on the information that, oh, by the way, the husband will be fine. So if you knew he'd be fine, why'd you ask? And how dare you make that poor woman sit through a pitch for a brokerage firm before revealing the fate of her husband. Yeesh, future lady. Way to bury the lede.
I especially enjoyed your article about inappropriate musical choices in television commercials. On that note, I wonder if you've seen this spot for Wishbone salad dressing, which uses the song "Bump" by Spank Rock. Sure, they didn't use any of the lyrics, but I have to wonder why they'd create an association between "delicious vinaigrette dressings" and one of the filthiest songs I've ever heard.
—Noreen T.
—Noreen T.
Well, the ad does say they're changing "everything" about salad dressing. I'd argue that "Bump" is the perfect soundtrack to accompany that mission. Why shouldn't a vegetable vinaigrette conjure sentiments like "You get it from behind, in just Chanel pumps"? For their next ad, I suggest they use "Toss My Salad," by underpublicized genius Filthy Sex Toy. (Given Filthy Sex Toy's graphic lyrics, I must sternly warn you that what you will see should you click on that link is in no way safe for work. And yet I must also stress that fabulous entertainment awaits beyond.)
I remembered you comparing "Vince wit Shamwow" to Billy Mays, and thought you might enjoy seeing Mays' new spiel, selling health insurance.
—Andrew L.
—Andrew L.
This ad is kind of amazing. Watch Billy Mays' hand gestures—they never stop! Hands go out, palms facing each other. Hands come back in, fists balled. Hands go back out, index fingers extended. It's either OCD or some sort of primitive sign language. I think it's happening because he has no tangible product to demonstrate. They should have let him use a sheaf of insurance documentation to wipe up spills with. Or maybe a wallet card for dabbing on grout?
Whaaaaaaat?????!!!!!
By ROB GILLIES, Associated Press Writer Wed Aug 6, 6:17 PM ET
TORONTO - Greyhound has scrapped an ad campaign that extolled the relaxing upside of bus travel after one of its passengers was accused of beheading and cannibalizing another traveler.
The ad's tag line was "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.'"
Greyhound spokeswoman Abby Wambaugh said Wednesday a billboard and some tunnel posters near a bus terminal in Toronto are still up and would be removed later in the day.
"Greyhound knows how important it is to get these removed and we are doing everything possible," Wambaugh said. "This is something that we immediately asked to be done last week, realizing that these could be offensive."
Vince Weiguang Li, who immigrated to Canada from China in 2004, is charged with second-degree murder in the death of 22-year-old carnival worker Tim McLean. He has yet to enter a plea.
Thirty-seven passengers were aboard the Greyhound from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba, as it traveled at night along a desolate stretch of the TransCanada Highway about 12 miles from Portage La Prairie, Manitoba. Witnesses said Li attacked McLean unprovoked, stabbing him dozens of times.
As horrified passengers fled the bus, Li severed McLean's head, displaying it to some of the passengers outside the bus, witnesses said.
A police officer at the scene reported seeing the attacker hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them, according to a police report.
Wambaugh said the ads only appeared in Canada and that some in Ontario and western Canada have already been removed. About 20,000 inserts of the Greyhound ads were scheduled to be put into an Alberta Summer Games handbook but they stopped the presses.
Um wow, me thinks maybe this guy should be deported? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I've been watching Lost! Even the savages stuck on a deserted island with no food haven't resorted to cannibalism yet!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
There is Hope for the Hopeless
John Mayer: I've Hooked Up With Fans
John Mayer may be begging for mercy from gal-pal Jennifer Aniston after revealing at an event on Tuesday that he's gotten more-than-friendly with his fans.“I might’ve hooked up with people, but as soon as I hooked up with them they weren’t fans anymore, so technically no,” he said during Z100’s Z Lounge With John Mayer held at NYC’s Spotlight Live. “Do you respect me for my honesty? The answer is: Yes I have. Not in a really long time. Not since the cameraphone. That cameraphone will get you, even if you’re sleeping. Your doughy frame all laying in a bed dead-like. I can’t deal with that. I’m not trusting enough to open up to anyone I don’t know very well anymore, which is good for my immune system.”
While former Friends star Jen didn’t appear to be hanging around for the Q&A session, the 30-year-old crooner made it clear he wouldn’t be cracking jokes about his new love in comedy clubs, a mistake he made when he opened up about former flame Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2006.“If you do standup, a lot of the stuff you talk about isn’t true," he expained. "It’s a reference to help illustrate the overall truth and I really can’t get away with getting onstage and talking about poop. I’m aware that there’s a certain focus on the things that come out of my mouth. I have to be really careful. Whenever you get up onstage and do standup, you really are supposed to be able to say what comes to my mind if it’s really thoughtful overall."
But perhaps the worst part about his comedy act — it just didn't get the laughs: "I also wasn’t funny," John confessed.
To check out the rest, click here
John Mayer may be begging for mercy from gal-pal Jennifer Aniston after revealing at an event on Tuesday that he's gotten more-than-friendly with his fans.“I might’ve hooked up with people, but as soon as I hooked up with them they weren’t fans anymore, so technically no,” he said during Z100’s Z Lounge With John Mayer held at NYC’s Spotlight Live. “Do you respect me for my honesty? The answer is: Yes I have. Not in a really long time. Not since the cameraphone. That cameraphone will get you, even if you’re sleeping. Your doughy frame all laying in a bed dead-like. I can’t deal with that. I’m not trusting enough to open up to anyone I don’t know very well anymore, which is good for my immune system.”
While former Friends star Jen didn’t appear to be hanging around for the Q&A session, the 30-year-old crooner made it clear he wouldn’t be cracking jokes about his new love in comedy clubs, a mistake he made when he opened up about former flame Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2006.“If you do standup, a lot of the stuff you talk about isn’t true," he expained. "It’s a reference to help illustrate the overall truth and I really can’t get away with getting onstage and talking about poop. I’m aware that there’s a certain focus on the things that come out of my mouth. I have to be really careful. Whenever you get up onstage and do standup, you really are supposed to be able to say what comes to my mind if it’s really thoughtful overall."
But perhaps the worst part about his comedy act — it just didn't get the laughs: "I also wasn’t funny," John confessed.
To check out the rest, click here
From the Mouths of Babes......or Celebs. Same difference.
"There are a limited amount of years where you can wear tight jeans. There comes a point where whether you can or not, you shouldn't."--Scott Weiland
The 40-year-old Stone Temple Pilots frontman, who continues to rock too-tight trousers, explained his personal pants philosophy in an interview.
(Agreed. Dear rockers, tight pants are uglarific!)
"I am a legend. I want to take drugs."--Amy Winehouse
The embattled singer was allegedly overheard screaming this shortly before she was arrested for headbutting a man on the street. Yikes.
"We call him our sensitive thug. It's from a Jay-Z song." --Gwyneth Paltrow
The 'Iron Man' actress revealed on 'Letterman' this week that she and husband Chris Martin have nicknamed their two-year-old son, Moses, after a line in good friend Hova's 'Heart of the City.'
(Dang them! I was going to name my firstborn son Sensitve Thug. They steal all my ideas!)
"If there is a song that gets me in the mood to play Andy Bernard, it would be an a cappella version of 'Africa,' by Toto. It's one of the greatest American rock songs." --Ed Helms
The actor admitted to Spin the one connection he feels to his relentlessly annoying, yet strangely lovable character on 'The Office.'
(Everyone else is making a comeback, why not Toto?!?!)
"The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, and the more I love her ... I would marry her in a heartbeat." --Moby
The NYC DJ spilled his guts to the Sun about his feelings for once fellow chrome dome Britney Spears.
(Sorry Moby, it appears that Britney has lost the chub. Better luck next time!)
"It's like watching a 14-year-old boy fumbling with a girl's belt buckle: They're going to get there eventually." --Pete Wentz
Emo's poster child waxed poetic on how musicians (including himself) attempt to participate in politics in Spin's April issue.
"When [they said], 'Hey, Chris, how's it going?,' that was way better than any gold record or s--- that Nickelback would write about being a rock star." --Chris Robinson
During an interview with Spinner, the Black Crowes singer remembered meeting Crosby, Stills Nash & Young at Madison Square Garden.
(Oh Chris. We love you. And for the record, we hate Nickelback too!)
"I'm not really into female vocalists ... I don't think I would ever listen to our band, honestly." --Hayley Williams
The fiery frontgirl may love singing in her Grammy-nominated band, but, as she disclosed to Rolling Stone, that doesn't mean she actually likes Paramore's songs. Duh.
(Hayley, I love you, but when you say things like this it makes other people wonder if they should be listening to your music. Oh screw it, we love Paramore [we really do. when is the next album???])
"I see the profundity of ['My Humps''] lyrics. You do have to make him work, work, work. You do. S--- is true." -- Alanis MorissetteThe 'Ironic' singer insisted to Spinner that her 'My Humps' cover was devoid of irony.
"When I got my divorce, the women jumped on me like white on rice! I said, 'Look, I ain't ever did fish, I don't intend to do fish so leave me alone.'" -- Patti LaBelle
The legendary singer revealed her not-so-'New Attitude' toward the idea of girly action. She'd rather adopt dogs to combat loneliness.
(Did fish???..moving on.........)
The 40-year-old Stone Temple Pilots frontman, who continues to rock too-tight trousers, explained his personal pants philosophy in an interview.
(Agreed. Dear rockers, tight pants are uglarific!)
"I am a legend. I want to take drugs."--Amy Winehouse
The embattled singer was allegedly overheard screaming this shortly before she was arrested for headbutting a man on the street. Yikes.
"We call him our sensitive thug. It's from a Jay-Z song." --Gwyneth Paltrow
The 'Iron Man' actress revealed on 'Letterman' this week that she and husband Chris Martin have nicknamed their two-year-old son, Moses, after a line in good friend Hova's 'Heart of the City.'
(Dang them! I was going to name my firstborn son Sensitve Thug. They steal all my ideas!)
"If there is a song that gets me in the mood to play Andy Bernard, it would be an a cappella version of 'Africa,' by Toto. It's one of the greatest American rock songs." --Ed Helms
The actor admitted to Spin the one connection he feels to his relentlessly annoying, yet strangely lovable character on 'The Office.'
(Everyone else is making a comeback, why not Toto?!?!)
"The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, and the more I love her ... I would marry her in a heartbeat." --Moby
The NYC DJ spilled his guts to the Sun about his feelings for once fellow chrome dome Britney Spears.
(Sorry Moby, it appears that Britney has lost the chub. Better luck next time!)
"It's like watching a 14-year-old boy fumbling with a girl's belt buckle: They're going to get there eventually." --Pete Wentz
Emo's poster child waxed poetic on how musicians (including himself) attempt to participate in politics in Spin's April issue.
"When [they said], 'Hey, Chris, how's it going?,' that was way better than any gold record or s--- that Nickelback would write about being a rock star." --Chris Robinson
During an interview with Spinner, the Black Crowes singer remembered meeting Crosby, Stills Nash & Young at Madison Square Garden.
(Oh Chris. We love you. And for the record, we hate Nickelback too!)
"I'm not really into female vocalists ... I don't think I would ever listen to our band, honestly." --Hayley Williams
The fiery frontgirl may love singing in her Grammy-nominated band, but, as she disclosed to Rolling Stone, that doesn't mean she actually likes Paramore's songs. Duh.
(Hayley, I love you, but when you say things like this it makes other people wonder if they should be listening to your music. Oh screw it, we love Paramore [we really do. when is the next album???])
"I see the profundity of ['My Humps''] lyrics. You do have to make him work, work, work. You do. S--- is true." -- Alanis MorissetteThe 'Ironic' singer insisted to Spinner that her 'My Humps' cover was devoid of irony.
"When I got my divorce, the women jumped on me like white on rice! I said, 'Look, I ain't ever did fish, I don't intend to do fish so leave me alone.'" -- Patti LaBelle
The legendary singer revealed her not-so-'New Attitude' toward the idea of girly action. She'd rather adopt dogs to combat loneliness.
(Did fish???..moving on.........)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Beyonce: Scam or just Light Skinned?
So all the blog seems to be upset recently over the new L'Oreal ad featuring Beyonce (shown below) where Beyonce's skin tone was supposedly lightened. They're all calling "bullshit" on L'Oreal, but I'm gonna take it a step further and call "bullshit" on the original "bullshit" callers (still following me?). I've taken it upon myself to find some pictures of Beyonce to see how her skin tone compares to the L'Oreal ad. The first picture below is a comparison of the ad to how Beyonce supposedly looks in everyday life. The pictures below that are in order of lightest skin tone to darkest (in the photos that I found and picked out of the millions of her on the web).
In none of this pictures is Beyonce's tone as dark as it is in the comparison picture (left side). Her tone in the live shots (which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure aren't airbrushed) is much closer to the tone in the ad. Additionally, everything about the ad looks "faded".....which would most likely happen after being printed in a magazine (assuming this is from a magazine ad) and being scanned into a computer. Some distortions will occur! It is ignorant to think that African Americans skin tone doesnt' change- of course it does! They're just like Hispanics, Caucasians, Asians, all of us! If we spend time in the sun our skin darkens. The less exposure we have to the sun's rays, the light our skin will become (to an extent, depending on the person, NOT the race). Hair color can also be a factor. When my hair is a lighter brown or blonde, I tend to look even more fair skinned than I usually do, but when I dye it dark it generally adds some color to my cheeks.
My main point here is, race continues to be a major issue in our country largely due to the fact that WE MAKE IT ONE! The sooner we stop making it an issue, then the sooner we will eventually stop seeing it at all, and we will all just be the people that we are instead of the ethnicities we came from.
Unpaid Internships
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
In most of the world when a person works long hours without pay, it is referred to as “slavery” or “forced labor.” For white people this process is referred to as an internship and is considered an essential stage in white development.
The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people eager to learn a trade would spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth.
Using this logic you would assume that the most sought after internships would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward. Young White people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path for careers that will generally result in a DECREASE of the material wealth accumulated by their parents.
For example, if you were to present a white 19 year old with the choice of spending the summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making $0 answering phones at Production Company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince them that it was leading towards an end-of-summer pipe art installation.
White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.
If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 per year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.
When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First, it helps to train the next generation of freelance writers, museum curators, and director’s assistants. But more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor.
So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at the New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean that they are PAYING their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say: “you earned it.” They will not get the joke.
In most of the world when a person works long hours without pay, it is referred to as “slavery” or “forced labor.” For white people this process is referred to as an internship and is considered an essential stage in white development.
The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people eager to learn a trade would spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth.
Using this logic you would assume that the most sought after internships would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward. Young White people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path for careers that will generally result in a DECREASE of the material wealth accumulated by their parents.
For example, if you were to present a white 19 year old with the choice of spending the summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making $0 answering phones at Production Company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince them that it was leading towards an end-of-summer pipe art installation.
White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.
If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 per year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.
When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First, it helps to train the next generation of freelance writers, museum curators, and director’s assistants. But more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor.
So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at the New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean that they are PAYING their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say: “you earned it.” They will not get the joke.
Attention Nashvillians!
If you live in or around Nashville and are not poor (like me) GO to this show tonight!
MIracles DO Happen!
God Bless the Stars and Stripes, Britney is healed! Look at that girl, just look at her! She looks NORMAL. Woohoo! She sounds normal. Woohoo! And look at those babies. Adorable!
I have no idea when I turned from a Britney hater to a Britney supporter, but I've pretty much decided that was her plan all along. This is what I think.....Britney never went crazy! It was all an act (she should get an Oscar!). It was just a huge long term publicity stunt. Britney pretends to go crazy, go to rehab, and turn British, everyone feels sorry for her, and the haters convert. BRILLIANT!
She may act like a simple girl from Louisiana, but this girl's got brains y'all.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
A Time to Read
A review of a few of the books I've read recently.
Jodi Picoult is, very simply, one of my favorite authors. Her books all contain some serious social issue (this one contains a school shooting- that doesn't ruin anything I promise). Her books are very well written, with no detail left unresearched. They are usually fairly lengthy ( best guess 300 pages +) but they are such page turners that they can definitely be read in jsut a few days.
Check out this book here
The book that I just finished over the weekend was In Her Shoes.
I think I was a little behind the boat on this one ( i haven't seen the movie either!), but i really liked this book. This was the first of Jennifer Weiner's books that I have read, but I think I'll definitely be checking out more.
I dont have a sister (which could be surprising considering that two out of the three books i've posted on are about sisters) but I still felt like this book was relatable. It was funny at times, it made me want to jump in the book and punch Maggie at other times. I kind of wanted to hit Rose for forgiving Maggie for all the things that she does, but I guess that's the sisterly bond that I dont totally understand. I've heard the book is better, but I guess I'm gonna have to run out and rent the movie now too. Check out this book
9021oh no she didn't!
TMZ reports that Tori Spelling has pulled out of the new 90210 because she doesn't feel that $20k an episode is enough money.
Dear Tori,
A lot of people dont make $20k a YEAR much less in a week! You should be ashamed of yourself. And, if we're being honest, it's not like you have any better offers.
Dear Tori,
A lot of people dont make $20k a YEAR much less in a week! You should be ashamed of yourself. And, if we're being honest, it's not like you have any better offers.
Olympics!
I'm not Chinese (duh) but my little heartstrings were pulled last night when the Chinese men's gymnastics team won the gold. That must be an incredible feelings when you wint he high honor in your sport for your country while in your country.
I just love it when people win the gold. Congrats Chinese men!
Monday, August 11, 2008
You Wouldn't Be Pointing So Hard If It Were You
Everyone should really, really lay off John Edwards. The man made a mistake, yes. He lied about it, yes. But he lied to US because we had no reason to know. It's a family matter, his family knew about it, and his family has forgiven him, so there is no place for the public to even be involved. It's not like he had an affair with this woman in the oval office while he was the sitting President.
Infidelity happens for many reasons, many of which can't be explained, and it is HARD for the people who go through it, and even harder when they think (or KNOW) that everyone is talking about their personal family situation. John Edwards is no longer in the Presidential race. Why is this even news?
I say this to the journalists who are knocking down his door and tearing his name to shreds: If it were you ( and it IS many of you), you wouldn't want people putting your personal business all over the news. Leave the man alone.
Infidelity happens for many reasons, many of which can't be explained, and it is HARD for the people who go through it, and even harder when they think (or KNOW) that everyone is talking about their personal family situation. John Edwards is no longer in the Presidential race. Why is this even news?
I say this to the journalists who are knocking down his door and tearing his name to shreds: If it were you ( and it IS many of you), you wouldn't want people putting your personal business all over the news. Leave the man alone.
Don't Bite the Hand that Feeds You....
Perez Hilton reports about oldest Jonas brother, Kevin, wearing a shirt that says "Team Demi and Selena"
http://perezhilton.com/2008-08-10-sending-a-message-to-miley
Uh, Dear Jonas Brothers, lets not forget that you guys were completely unheard of until a little over a year ago when one Miley Cyrus put you on her best of both worlds tour and you coincidentally blew up. Me thinks someone needs to learn a little loyalty and cut out the high school bull crap. Nick is only 15 so it's a bit more appropriate for him, but Kevin, aren't you old enough to drink? Stop picking on a 15 year old!
http://perezhilton.com/2008-08-10-sending-a-message-to-miley
Uh, Dear Jonas Brothers, lets not forget that you guys were completely unheard of until a little over a year ago when one Miley Cyrus put you on her best of both worlds tour and you coincidentally blew up. Me thinks someone needs to learn a little loyalty and cut out the high school bull crap. Nick is only 15 so it's a bit more appropriate for him, but Kevin, aren't you old enough to drink? Stop picking on a 15 year old!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Are They Blind?!
An open letter to the judges of Project Runway:
Dear Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and Heidi Klum:
I love you guys, I really do. I love your show. I love the concept,the creation, from top to bottom I love your show. I love it on Bravo, but I'll definitely still watch it once it moves to Lifetime. But I take serious issue with one factor of this season: STELLA!
What is the matter with you guys? She has now made it to Episode 5!!!!! In my world we call that CRAAAAAAZY! I have more talent in my finger than she does and guess what? I'm not even a designer!!!!!
You think I'm overreacting? Let's review the facts.
Dear Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and Heidi Klum:
I love you guys, I really do. I love your show. I love the concept,the creation, from top to bottom I love your show. I love it on Bravo, but I'll definitely still watch it once it moves to Lifetime. But I take serious issue with one factor of this season: STELLA!
What is the matter with you guys? She has now made it to Episode 5!!!!! In my world we call that CRAAAAAAZY! I have more talent in my finger than she does and guess what? I'm not even a designer!!!!!
You think I'm overreacting? Let's review the facts.
Really? REALLY? These designs made it through??? She's barely even been in the bottom two! Trash bags??? OUT! She should've been out from the get go! Then we have the laces for the next two weeks in a row- laces. Last time I checked, biker chic (of this caliber) is rarely used in high fashion. Isn't that what we're going for here? I mean, if we're looking for a new designer for Hot Topic then our reasons for keeping her are valid, but last time I checked Michael Kors did NOT design for Hot Topic.
And this week. Oh this week. Stella, this was an Olympic challenge. For the United States of America! The last time I checked, black wasn't one of our colors. Red, white, and blue!!!!! I mean, I know you're from Queens, but you can't be totally retarded! Her outfit looked like something that was going to be worn in a Space themed porn!
So, judges, with these many explanations marks I beg of you: Send Stella home next week!
Your friend,
Lela
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Just Sayin!
Don't believe me? Watch the trailer for Pineapple Express and tell me I'm wrong. I dare you.
Totally Looks Like You!
Check out this website where they compare two people who "Totally Look Like" each other.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
A Bit of Tuesday Randomness
Since I spent this weekend with my mom in Columbia we continued a trend that we have during my visits- movie time (in particular movies from the $5 bin at WalMart. Thank you Sam Walton). We came across Spanglish which neither of us had ever seen so we bought it (among a few others).
It was a super super cute movie (little late to the Spanglish wagon, I understand.) It made me laugh out loud, but it also touched on some interesting social issues that got me thinking about a few things, but one in particular: cheating.
At what point do we consider cheating cheating? Does that just depend on the person or the couple? We're not talking "swingers" or "open relationships" here people, we're talking normal, middle America people who have at least a pinch of morals.
In the movie (spoiler alert) the wife cheats on the husband. Her first words of confession to him were along the lines of "I've spent the past 11 weeks with another man". He then asks her very persistently whether or not she had slept with him. Of course she had, but hold on......if the answer had been no, would it have no longer have been an issue? The woman just spent eleven weeks of quality time with another man while you were home alone. Even if there was no sex, does dinner, a movie, and loads of flirtation count as cheating?
On the flip side, the husband was in love with the housekeeper and Up until the revelation of his wife's outside lovelife he had never otuwardly acted on his feelings for her. But he loved her in his heart. He lusted after her in his heart. That's still emotional cheating right? It might not be the kind that ruins relationships, but (call me crazy) if my husband were in love with another woman, I'm pretty sure I'd be upset about that (and hopefully have the wisdom to notice)!
When you have a girlfriend but continually pursue another girl (whether the ways be obvious or subtle)- that's emotional cheating!
So when does emotional cheating become actual cheating? After prolonged periods of it? Or never?
Oh Spanglish- you make me think so much.
Put A Smile on Your Face....
...because, soon, life can begin again. It's that time of year again friends. Time for a new season of everyone's favorite show
The Hills!
The show premieres August 18 at 9PM CST. I'm having a party ( no really I am. If you're a Hills fan and you know where my house is, you're invited- but be warned....this is not for the faint of heart!)
Watch the trailer for Season 4 below and get pumped- you know you love it.
The Case Against Crocs
FASHION
Make. It. Stop.
The case for ending our long national nightmare.
By Steve Tuttle Newsweek Web Exclusive
Aug 1, 2008 Updated: 12:42 p.m. ET Aug 1, 2008
http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240/page/1
I like to play a game with my son, Joseph. We sit on a bench in touristy Old Town, Alexandria, Va., and we're not allowed to get up until we see a dozen pairs of Crocs. It usually doesn't take long. But the other day we were stuck at eight after a few minutes, and I was getting a little concerned. Just then my boy leaned over and said, "Don't worry, Dad. A family of dorks will come along any minute." To paraphrase Hank Hill, if he wasn't my son, I would have hugged him right then, I was so proud.
I know what you're thinking: what kind of sick father lets his impressionable young son call people dorks because of the shoes they wear? Well, who else will teach him that wearing sweaty bright purple clown shoes in public is not OK? He certainly won't learn that lesson at school. Teachers seem to be some of the biggest abusers of this horrid fad.
I know what else you're thinking: "I like Crocs … they're so comfortable. I'll tell you who the dork is … the guy writing this story, that's who! And who died and made him the fashion authority anyway?" Well, no one. I own pitted-out T shirts that are more than a quarter of a century old, and I've been known to strut around town in some pleated khaki Dockers. I own one belt. A female colleague even told me once I'd be a "perfect candidate for 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'." I think she was trying to be helpful. My complete lack of fashion sense actually supports my theory, because even I know these things are an abomination.
Yes, I'm really, really late to the Crocs-bashing party. Really late. Plenty of fashionistas have written screeds over the years. But the damn things are still here, so this is no time to stop fighting. To quote the great John Belushi: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!"
I've been following the good work of Web sites like I Hate Crocs Dot Com for some time, even going so far as to submit a photograph of a stuffed skunk spraying a pair of pink Crocs. The fantastic Best Page In The Universe posted a hilarious rant a while back joking that people who bought Crocs on Amazon.com also bought frozen corn dogs, Pabst Blue Ribbon Light and trucker balls, as well as the CD single "Hey There, Delilah" by the Plain White T's. The rant's author, Maddox, writes: "People who wear Crocs go on and on about how comfortable they are, and how it's supposedly odor resistant because it's made out of some kind of anti-bacterial foam … You know what else it's resistant to? You getting laid."
A popular YouTube video called "Dorcs" parodies the trend: "Wow, but they're so ugly," says an office worker to her friend. "That's how you know they're comfortable," he says. By the end, she's a convert: "I've given fashion the finger, and joined the Dorcs revolution!" The Crocs Empire is acutely aware of us haters. Even their own commercials make fun of the irrational and over-the-top rage their shoes instill in people like me. In one, an unshaven lunatic holds a neon blue Croc in front of his face and screams, "Why are you wearing these!" for 30 seconds. I only wish I'd known about the tryouts for this commercial.
Crocs's stock price has cratered of late, so there is hope. According to the Rocky Mountain News, the shoes, "which were once so popular that the company couldn't keep pace with demand, are now piling up in warehouses." Maybe the company's just a victim of its own success. If practically every person in the U.S. already has a pair and they're indestructible, how many more can you sell? The same thing happened to Wham-O back in the 1950s with the Hula Hoop.
But the company isn't giving up. They've been diversifying, sponsoring Olympic teams and veering off into sandals and other designs, trying to fool us. They've even gone so far as to create a high-heeled Croc. OMG, as the kids say. These have to be seen to be believed. I recommend only the strong of heart should attempt to Google "high-heeled Croc." The company Web site has this ominous warning for us: "Today, Crocs™ Shoes are available all over the world and on the internet as we continue to significantly expand all aspects of our business" (italics added). That sounds like a threat to me. They're even suing other companies like Skechers for allegedly stealing their great idea. Skechers says the lawsuit is "baseless," "outlandish," and "ridiculous." I'll tell you what's outlandish and ridiculous: that these things sell so much that another company would feel compelled to copy them, allegedly. Don't we have enough eye pollution with just the originals still out there? Don't be fooled, America! Soylent Green is CROCS!!!
If you think about it, the Crocs company should really be admired. P. T. Barnum would be proud. They've managed to separate money from the wallets of millions and millions of seemingly sane people who wake up, look in the closet, and actually decide: "Today I'll leave the house wearing these neon-green Dutch bubble shoes with Swiss-cheese holes in them. Maybe I'll even buy some little plastic strawberries or bananas and jam them in the sweat holes, just to jazz things up and make the bacteria incubate faster." That's fine. I say do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home. Let your Crocs freak flag fly. But don't make the rest of us watch.
I realize this article might not go down too well even in my own editorial office and certainly not in our ad sales department. My boss in Washington read an early draft and said it was funny, but that I had a "somewhat demented obsessiveness." At least he threw me a "somewhat." Another editor wondered aloud if I had perhaps been trampled by Crocs at some point in my life. I also worry about writing this because some of my best friends—and their sweet, innocent children—wear them. One of my dearest—the sister I never had—introduced me to the shoes years ago when she waltzed into a garden party in a pair of bright hot-pink Crocs. I couldn't stop staring at them. "What are those things?!" I whimpered nervously, hoping maybe she was rehabbing from some sort of strange Achilles mishap. "Oh, they're called Crocs … I got them for gardening," she said, so innocently.
Oh, if only we'd known what a tsunami of fashion idiocy was about to be unleashed, maybe we could have stopped it somehow, and they would have stayed in the garden where they belong, covered with manure, a trendy item to be featured on www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. If only. Then they wouldn't be out there in the American mainstream, that big, vast, sweaty mainstream traipsing through our airports and over our beaches and around our great shopping malls. Plop, plop, plop, they go, stuffing their Crocs faces with ice cream and Doritos and giant sodas. Plop, plop, plop. Stuff, stuff, stuff. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And the rest of us have to watch. I spent eight hours waiting on a flight at Dulles over the 4th of July week and I was just minutes from tackling the next group of Crocs ploppers I saw. Luckily for me—and the ploppers—my flight finally arrived and I wasn't arrested for assault. Knowing my luck, I'd have shown up in court to find 12 pairs of Crocs sitting in the jury box.
It would have probably been better for my career if I just posted this as an anonymous Craigslist rant as CrocsHatah35 or something. Plenty of others have spouted off about Crocs there. And sure, I would have had a lot more readers. But Craigslist doesn't write my paychecks, and this is just too important to ignore another day. Some times you just have to make a stand, even if it's a few years late. Do we really think we're going to stop global warming if we can't even end this fashion Chernobyl once and for all? I think the U.S. government should institute a Crocs buyback policy, like they do in the inner city for guns. It would do more to beautify this great land than Lady Bird's highway beautification program ever did. So I'm begging you, America. Just stop. When you wake up tomorrow and look at your options, choose flip-flops. Go barefoot. Wear boots. Anything but Crocs. By next summer—if we all work together—we can have this plague of bad taste virtually eliminated. Yes! We! Can!
Music Musings
The infamous Darren Jessee. New Album out in August. Check em out at www.myspace.com/hotellightsmusic
Personal fave is "Blue Always Finds Me"
Australia never sounded so good! Missy Higgins is huge down under but seems to just now be getting some mainstream attention in the States. Check her out at www.myspace.com/missyhiggins.
Personal favorite: "Where I Stood"
Tip: Buy her album for only $6.99 on Amazon!
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