Your Friend Alex

Dear Friends,

Today we have a guest blogger. AlexAnder, Take it away!

Hello lambs,

 AlexAnder here for my first official guest post. Our friend Lela so kindly told you all my most pressing message of That is Not a Dress in previous posts. I’m here to reiterate and clarify the point for you.

 In case you have missed the previous installments, let me break it down for you:

 Sweater dresses are fabulous. They’re effortlessly chic and flattering on all figures.

 A sweater AS a dress is not fabulous. Nor is it effortlessly chic and flattering. In fact it screams, “I need attention” and is a veritable arrow pointing to untoned thighs and cellulite. But don’t take my word for it… let’s look at some visuals.

  I can almost see her fallopian tubes. That.Is.Not.O.K.

 

Think I’m making this up? Are you thinking, “This can’t possibly be true. Women can’t really wear sweaters-as-dresses in public”?

 I present you Exhibit A:

 No ma’am. That sweater is not a sweater dress. It’s just not. Not matter how many times you tug it down on the sides, it’s not gonna work. It’s not a dress.

Have you, dear lamb, yourself fallen prey to this wretched pandemic? Don’t beat yourself up. No, don’t do it. You’re not alone. In fact, you could blame it on B list celebrities for leading you astray.

   No, Lindsay Lohan, that is Not a dress.

Oh heavenly day! That is DEFINITELY not a dress.

 It’s a tough world out there ladies. The least you can do is put on a real sweater dress. Sometimes we need a push to do the right thing. So, if it’s any incentive, I’ll be out there, camera in hand, ready to catch all offenders and post them here—courtesy of your friend Lela.

 Love and Affection—don’t forget the protection,

AlexAnder