Death By Peanut Butter!

Have you guys heard about this recall on Peanut Butter? It is desperately sad, but also good news for some. Right now the things that have been recalled include Sonc's ready to us peanut butter that they use in their Peanut Butter Shakes and Sundae's (sad day), and

Peter Pan peanut butter (I have some in the cubbard) and Great Value Peanut butter (that's WalMart brand for you rich folk) that begin with the product code 2111.

The peanut butter has Salmonella in it! In case you think you might have Salmonella, but aren't sure what the symptoms are, the FDA is right here to help us out. Symptoms include fever, diarrhea (ew) and abdominal craps, and can sometimes kill you! While at first thought that sounds terribly tragic, I think we should re examine.....

Anyone thinking of committing suicide? Cause, I mean, this would be the best time to do it! Just eat tons and tons of peanut butter. Go to Sonic and buy all the Peanut Butter shakes your little tummy can hold, and then eat some Reese cups, then down some peanut butter and crackers ( all while listening to "Zombie" by the Cranberries). Think about it- no pills, no bloody mess, no guns (they're tricky!)- just pure deliciousness and then sleep (well, throw some diarrhea and cramps in there, but then pure blissful sleep).

I personally hadn't been considering suicide, but I'm giving it a second thought now- it just seems as though, much like buying a house, there couldn't be a better time to do it. Enjoy your peanut butter and jelly sandwich!