DID YOU WATCH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY FINALE?????
Oh lawd, it was sooooooooooo good.
The show started with Dina and her highly obnoxious but somehow still cute daughter Lexy going over to Theresa's new castle, I mean overly ornate mansion, I mean house to look around and see the place and potentially make fun of Theresa's design skills. But no worries, Dina was pleasantly surprised at how well put together the placed looked and was overall very impressed. I, also, was relatively impressed with the house- it was a bit obnoxious, but not too terribly awful. I want to see it with furniture ASAP. And, can I just say, that little Gia is the.cutest.child.ever. I think it is so adorable how she is obsessed with getting everything moved into her room and having each thing be just so. She's just precious.
So, anywho, Dina and Theresa go out to the [front?] yard to enjoy some wine and talk about people. Theresa says that she is thinking about doing a big dinner with all of the friends and husbands and kids, etc......including Danielle. Dun dun DUUUUUNNN. Originally, this dinner was supposed to be a "house warming" thing [and that house DEFINITELY needs a lot of warmth], but since they dont have furntiure yet, they obviously had to replan. Instead of postponing the house warming party, why dont we just do it at a resteraunt? Right. Yes, that makes perfect sense. Dina was more than a little surprised that Theresa wanted to invite Dina and rightfully so. No one besides Jacqueline has spoken to her in at least a couple of episodes. Theresa's not at all transparent reasoning for inviting Danielle? "I'm not a rude person". And there you have it. NOT because the producers told her she had to. Because she's not a rude person. Right.
Cut to a scene with Caroline at a training session for her new German Shepard that is going to be an attack dog. I mean, really? Who do these people think they're kidding?? "We are well known in the community." What community, Caroline? The MOB community? Silly me, of course that's what you meant. And here's a tip- Regular ole people dont need/have/want attack dogs, so the next time you are pretending to be a regular ole person, maybe dont invite the Bravo cameras to record your new dog destroying its trainer.
And theeeeeeeeeeen there was a scene with Danielle showing her daughters pictures from her modeling career, all of which were blurred out, which leads me to believe one of three things: 1) The pictures were not of her because she was never a model and therefore has not actual shots and is forced to use someone else's photos which obviously cannot be shown because then we will be onto her shenanigans (we already are Danielle........we already are). 2) She was NUDE in all of the shots, which essentially makes her a porn star ( no surprise there) or 3) one of the first two. Then Danielle explains to us that she has accepted Theresas invitation to dinner and almost makes it seem as though she has put the past in the past and is going to let bygones be bygones................until......................
The infamous dinner arrives. It is time. Everyone is having a very enjoyable time, talking and laughing until in saunters Danielle [who kind of looks like a meer cat with rabies, dont you think? I just now thought of that]. And she is bringing the bitch from the very beginning. She is not here to be friends, she is here to settle the score. And settle it she does. BOOM! "The Book" is on the table, pointed at a 45degree angle at Dina. And then the shit. hits. the. fan.
I honestly dont even know how to recount the rest, so I am leaving you with clips below. Please enjoy. Please give feedback [about them, not me. Or me. Whatever you feel like].
If there is a God in heaven, there will be a second season of this show.
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