It's An Epidemic

Some of you know what I'm talking about because you've lived it. It's the "not relationship", the "not boyfriend, the "not girlfriend". The rest of you who haven't lived it are saying, "Whaaaaa?". Allow me to explain.

Our generation isn't very good at communicating. This is surprising considering that we are absolutely the most "connected" generation that has ever existed. We have social networking sites that allow us to always know what our friends are doing and in some cases we can even track where they are [is that creepy to anyone besides me?]. We can text, skype, instant message, email, bbm......our options are unlimited. We are ALWAYS connected. The downfall of all of this technology is that we have forgotten how to communicate in real life. Scratch that- we never learned how. "What does this have to do with 'not relationships'?" you may be saying. Follow me. Come with me.

As we all should know by know, communication is key in having a successful relationship- of any kind! Friendship, family, romantical, they all involve good communication. Now, because we are a generation of many broken homes, I feel like our peers are very invested in their relationships and they want to have successful, long term marriages, but its taking much longer for us to get to a marrying age because we can't even have successful dating lives! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone needs to get married at 21, nor am I saying that everyone should wait til they're 40 [thats a whole other post], I'm simply pointing out that people are waiting longer to get married and I think this has something to do with it.

So, this leads me to the "not relationship". By definition, it is NOT a relationship, except that it IS, and that is where things get tricky. A "not relationship" is essentially where two people are dating [even though they likely wouldn't call it that] but they don't put a label on it. No actual commitment, no actual title, none of that. The reason behind it really depends on the people involved. Sometimes it's because they're scared of commitment, sometimes it's because they dont like labels, but a LOT of the time it's because the don't know how to communicate! Girls can be scary, I realize that, but men have forgotten how to be men! Is it really that hard to have a DTR [define the relationship] with someone? I mean, this goes for girls too [but the problem with a lot of girls is that they sometimes wanna have the DTR way too early and this tends to scare the mens off]. Why are we all so scared? It's like we're always on the prowl for the "next best thing" [another thing that has been instilled in our generation since birth] and therefore don't want to "lock it in" for fear that it won't be right, but, isn't that what breakups are for?? I mean, sure, heartbreak ain't easy, but it tends to be necessary for growth and, lets be real, its inevitable. I think by creating these "not relationships", we have in fact made things more complicated and juvenile than they ever were when people were actually dating and communicating.

This post isn't going to change anything about the way our generation looks at relationships and I am fully aware of that. But the next time that you start to send someone that you like a text, reconsider and give them a call instead. Maybe ask them out for coffee or a drink so that you can talk to them in person and discover how to be a real person again.