This is finale week. For every tv show that has ever existed on television. Except Gossip Girl. Wanna know why? It's because they took 10 WEEKS OF VACATION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON. At that rate their finale shouldn't be until July!!! But alas, it's next week. This weeks episode was pretty dang good if I do say so myself. It's a shame that we had to sit through all the stupid shit at the beginning of the season to get to the good stuff [same with Greys Anatomy].
So, we began the episode with Serena still in jail [remember how her mom put her there last week?]. The questions I had about her arrest [like, "what self respecting mother would throw her daughter in jail for disobeying her order to NOT do the right thing?"] were answered when I realized that it was all just a set up for the spin-off flashback. OH! Confused? Let's dissect.
There is supposed to be a Gossip Girl spin off that follows Lily Van Der Woodson [Serena's mom for those of you not paying attention] in the 80s, the time of her youth, before the bebes and the multiple marriages. When I initially heard this I thought SNOOOOOZE FEST, but the setup this week was actually kind of funny [I've read mixed reviews as to whether the spin off has actually been picked up].
In the flashback, we find that Lily is a spoiled little rich girl who has recently been uprooted from New York to LA where her older sister Carol ran off to become an "actress" [gross] and her parents got divorced. She intentionally got herself kicked out of boarding school so that she could go live with her Daddy Who Doesn't Want Her, but, as the title explains, her daddy doesn't want her so she runs off to the Valley [gross] to find her sister Carol. They crash a house party [where we meet Serena and Erics future father who is the VILLIAN] and subsequently get arrested, hence the connection between Serenas arrest and the spin off set up. Whew. I'm tired now. Still with me?
Ok, so back to 2009 [I feel like we are time traveling. Where are Jack and Locke?]. It's prom night and Blair is having a terrible time. Her corsage is ruined. Her dress was ruined by the dry cleaners. Nate lost the limo and the hotel room was mysteriously cancelled. Nate thinks Chuck is trying to sabotage his relationship with Blair and Chuck assures him that he has no interest in Blair what-so-ever [lies lies lies lies lies]. Mysteriously, a dress shows up for Blair from Paris! Just like in the scrap book [more on that later]. It must be from daddy! Must.
Dan gets Serena out of jail and takes her to prom. Their story line here is super dumb.
Meanwhile at prom, despite not being a "suburban high school" [gross], the girls prep school [the name has slipped me. i dont care enough to look it up] has decided for the first year to vote for "Prom Queen". Blair old co horts basically set this up as a last ditch effort to embarass Blair since they have rigged the competition for Nelly Yuki to win. Really? Nelly Yuki? Out of all you bitches, you thought Nelly Yuki, the only Asian one, the one who wears glasses, should be prom queen? You guys need to rethink this plan.
Anyway, Blairs knight in Armani armor overhears this evil plot to make Blair look like a peasant and he wont stand for it, no he will not! Chuck devises a plan of his own. He will take OUT the forged ballets with Nellys name on them, and forge some MORE ballets with Blairs name on them and then put THOSE in the ballot box. Hmmmm. Clever. Why do rich people always have such good ideas?
BUT, Blair finds Chuck with the ballots in his hand and assumes [and you know what happens when we assume] that he was taking them OUT of the box in order to sabotage you! Oh Blair, you should really know your audience a little better. Just then, from the stage, they announce "And this years Prom Queen is..........Princess Blair!!!!" and then everyone booed and Blair fell to the ground in tears and all the bitchy girls were so confused because they thought their plan was fool proof!
So Blair goes to accept her crown [oh and Nate won prom king, what a surprise] and Chuck explains to Serena and Dan that he rigged the thing for Blair to win [see two paragraphs above if you are still confused] and Serena tells him how sweet that was. Chuck then hands Serena a key to the penthouse suite at the Plaza and tells her "You aren't the only one who knew about the scrapbook."
Ok. The Scrapbook. Blair has had some stupid ass scrapbook since she and Nate started dating in 1st grade about how perfect prom was going to be, and how her dress would come from Paris [sound familiar?], and how she would be Prom Queen if by some chance her uppity school took on a suburban tradition [sound familiar?], and how Nate's one eyed snake would part her meat drapes in the penthouse at the Plaza. So, evidently, everyone [except for Nate- where has he been?] knew about this stupid scrap book and wanted to make sure Blair's every prom wish came true.
Then Blair broke up with Nate.
I swear, the episode really was good, despite this recap making it sound hokey. But next week, oh next week! Next week IS the season finale, and they show a clip of Blair standing in front of Chucky pie in lingerie. Oh please, oh PLEASE Josh Schwartz, let them finally hook up, and let it be HOOOOOOOOOT!
Coming up next: Your Hills recap.
1 comment:
knight in Armani armor.... hehehe
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