Last Christmas Post, I PROMISE

Well, for today anyway!

More Christmas Cheer!

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It's that time of year again, ladies and gents. Thanksgiving is officially over [and what a delicious holiday it was!], everyone has hopefully started their Christmas shopping (if not for others, at least for themselves. Guilty as charged), and there's a chill in the air. I tend to be one of those obnoxious people that starts listening to Christmas Music the minute Halloween is over, but for some reason I just wasn't into it this year. Even Thanksgiving didn't really feel like the "holidays" to me, but yesterday I helped my mom get all of her Christmas decorations out and all it took was the twinkle of one set of Christmas lights and I was full of Christmas Cheer! I listened to Christmas tunes all the way back to Nashville and they have been entertaining me this morning as well.

Now, I don't always love Zoe Deschanel [unless it's on The New Girl], but I kind of enjoy the new She & Him Christmas album. There are a few duds, but there are also a few really great renditions on Christmas Classics. Take a listen below and check back later for more Christmas tunes [and some regular ole tunes for you Scrooges out there].

Let's Watch Some Videos Today, Whaddya Say?

Feist, "How Come You Never Go There"

Florence + The Machine, "No light, no light"

Ingrid Michaelson, "Ghost"


Rihanna, "We Found Love"

Your Cute Cat Video of the Day

Filed Under: Yes, Yes, Yes

For some unknown reason, I do not have SNL scheduled to record on my DVR. I am one of approximately 10 people that still watch and enjoy it and every Monday I find myself smacking my forehead for missing another fabulous episode. This week featured another one of my celeb boyfriends, Jason Seigel [ I don't understand it either...] and the ever fabulous Florence + The Machine. Florence sang "Shake It Out" [which I did not post because it wasn't the strongest performance. Am I crazy, or was she flat almost the entire time] and "No Light, No Light" which are two of my favorite songs off of the new album.

I would like to mention, because it's what we do here, that Flo's fashion sense was SPOT.ON. for this show. I will take both of those dresses, please and thank you.

She also must have a pretty great sense of humor, because she participated in this highly ridiculous skit.

More New Music Monday

Ok, this doesn't get me quite as giddy as Drake [what does?], but I'm certainly not mad at this new Jessie Baylin EP. It really is the perfect soundtrack for this gloomy, gloomy day.

Jessie Baylin - Pleasure Center EP by jessiebaylin

What I am mad at is her always perfect hair. Damn you, Baylin!

New Music Monday

As y'all probably know, I have lots of celebrity boyfriends but my very favorite one is oddly Canadian and is affectionately known as my "light skinned boyfriend". He is the one, the only, Drizzy Drake and he has a new album out. I worked my little tushy off to this at the gym yesterday and I happen to think it will jump start your morning?

Are you into that? Well fuck, let's get it then!

In Support Of Child Abuse

If ever there were a reason to beat your kids, this just might be it.

Filed Under: Er, What?

I'm pretty sure these Christmas Gift Ideas speak for themselves, so I'm just going to let them do so. Feel free to buy them for your loved ones [or it might be more appropriate to buy for someone you hate].

The Pillowig

a Horsehead Mask

Instant Underpants [please feel free to read the reviews here]

DarkFin Gloves

For the Camper in your life, how bout a Bear Sleeping Bag?

The Perfect Snowball maker

And for the Canine in your life....

The only thing cuter than a beard on a baby is a moustache on a dog!

or this

Happy Hunting!

Sometimes I Think I'm Crafty

If you have previously read this blog, then you already happen to know that I may be a bit of a fashion addict. You may also have realized from recent posts that I am obsessed with all things that sparkle.

It was love at first sight for me and the MiuMiu glitter booties that are all the rage this fall [seen below in a variety of styles and colors], but sadly, this blogger is ballin on a budget and I don't exactly have $800+++ to drop on shoes.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands. Thanks to a handy tutorial I saw on Pinterest, I realized that I could take this pair of shoes:

and turn them into this:

Voila! My very own sparkle shoes that cost me approximately $6.00 [and I'm throwing in the adorable pic of my dog Rugrat in the background for free]. I have owned these shoes for quite sometime and they were the perfect free canvas for my madness. If you don't already own a pair of shoes that you're willing to make over, check out your local Goodwill for a bargain.

These are the supplies you'll need:

Painters Tape [free for me- already had on hand]

Modge Podge [free for me- already had on hand]

Glitter [approximately $2.99. I almost did all red since the heel of the shoe was already red, but I didn't want it to look too Wizard of Oz-y]

Krylon Clear Acrylic Spray [approximately $3.50]

Old Newspaper or Magazine to work on

Tape off the portion of the shoe that you want to glitterize [or do the whole shoe if you're feeling adventurous!]. Paint a relatively thin coat of Modge Podge on and sprinkle with glitter. Repeat this around the heel [I did mine in 3 sections] and let dry [I dried mine overnight]. Spray with your clear acrylic spray [this keeps the glitter from falling off.....allegedly], let dry, and then dazzle your friends!

Ok Ok Ok.....

I have not made it a big secret that I'm not a huge fan of Taylor Swift, but I do sometimes think that if I actually knew her, I would really like her as a person. This clip from her upcoming 60 Minutes special proved that to me.

A Little Something for Your Hump Day

At the request of a certain reader, I have made a Spotify playlist for you to check out if you'd like! It's a rainy, dreary fall Wednesday here in Nashville and this would usually make me want to listen to Bon Iver and zone out, but NOT TODAY. Today we dance our way through the darkness. And yes, I did just say that. Some of the songs are great and some are super cheesy, but they all happen to make me wanna dance, so just go with the flow. So click the link below and enjoy!!

Just Shake Your Hump Day!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How GTL Are Your Branches

I love Christmas time. The chill in the air, the kindness of strangers, the trimming of the tree. At my house, we have ornaments that date back from when I was a babay, and I sure do love those, but there has seemed to be something missing the past few years. Luckily, I think I know what can fill the void.

Christmas ornaments in the shape of Jersey Shore castmembers. Hooray!

The caption on this photo was "An ornament that will make your Christmas tree glad it's already dead". Hahahaha.

Filed Under: DISAGREE

People Magazine has finally named their Sexiest Man of the Year [I know you've all been waiting] and it might not be who you'd expect.

Bradley Cooper???????

Now look, I ain't mad at Bradley Cooper, but he is definitely not THE sexiest. I think a better bet would have been that sweet, magic loving fella in the small box. That's right, I said it. Ryan Gosling is a ton sexier than Bradley Cooper and a helluva better actor. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief now that that statement is out in the open.

Obsession of the Day

Party nails!!

A little over a week ago, I was purchasing a new lipstick [I know, I know, like I needed another one] and spotted a gem of a polish at the cash register. It was from O.P.I.'s new "Muppet" line and the color was called "Rainbow Connection". I said "Yes, please" and tossed it in my bag.

Evidently it's a hit because I carried it in my purse to Chicago this past weekend [it chips off pretty easily] and before I knew it, all my girlfriends had party nails too! Needless to say, mayhem ensued.

RELAX

Readers, this advice comes from an anonymous friend of a friend and I just thought it was too good to share. It's a great reminder that the universe is bigger than us [in all aspects- not just relationships] and that sometimes we need to just relax and know that God has a perfect timing for everything- even boyfriends!

Your email prompted me to reflect on some of the themes I've been thinking about recently, and since I am going to be in the office all night and a reflection break sounded like a tempting idea, I offer the following for you to read, ignore, turn into a paper airplane, etc. Mostly it's my own reflections, but perhaps you may find some of it helpful, even if just for kindling.

What I have learned though, in my egregious old age and from having dated since the age of 12 and having made likely every single dating mistake possible is to simply do the following: relax. relax. then take a deep breath and...relax. Or, as I like to tell myself, "chill the f*ck out". (Caveat: I only FINALLY understood this idea and put it into actual practice very recently, with results I have been really happy with; admittedly, it is MUCH easier in theory than in practice.) I really, really believe that now and I have been very happy with how that philosophy has been affecting my life and then my romantic life in the past couple of months, in particular since meeting X and how I've dealt with all the excitement associated with that.

One of my books on training for long-distance running encourages you to run slowly, pointing out that it's a long-distance run and not a sprint and that most injuries come from trying to run too fast but that it's nearly impossible to get injured by running too slowly. So run slowly. There's no downside risk. No matter how excited I am or how perfect things seem, one hard and fast rule for myself now is, for example, absolutely no meeting of the parents before 6 months (again, I learned this from experience!). There's no downside risk to waiting that extra little bit of time, but running too fast can cause injuries you might not otherwise have experienced. Barring exceptional circumstances of course, the parents will still be there in 6 months. Waiting and self-discipline about taking big steps quickly or getting ahead of the point a relationship has had the time to naturally progress of course really sucks when you're super-excited (and, again, I admit, I have historically completely sucked at this and exhalted in rushing) but, like long-distance running, you're never going to mess things up by going to slowly. As an anecdotal point, I'm actually also now a big fan of waiting longer than regular to get physical (read: to bone)--I wonder if those women in the 50s were actually onto something...

One good piece of advice that I received from someone much older and wiser than me is that it is great to get excited about a man, and to believe that he is "the one" (I, like many women and possible men I suspect, routinely think at first that whoever I'm dating is "the one") when you initially start dating, and there is of course a possibility that he will be, but statistically it is a very slim possibility. That's not to be pessimistic, but just to remember to relax, and to not project too much into the future. The other part of this, that should help you relax and just go with the flow, is that as we get older the men we meet and get into relationships with tend to be better and better matched to us. So while the end of a relationship definitely sucks balls and it's ok to feel very disappointed and eat icecream in bed, it really does make sense to then be excited for the next person who will almost certainly be better matched to you; statistically, it makes logical sense and is the most reasonable assumption.

In order to aid with my *chill the f*ck out" mantra, I like to listen to this song almost every day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYvGMTntncQ Especially when I start to get over-excited about current relationship things. The music and the lyrics are both relaxing and I find it to be a good reminder to relax and enjoy every little bit of the journey of getting to know someone; falling in love should be one of the most wonderful times in your life--milk it, let it last for as long as it can!

Another mantra I really currently like in relationships and in life is: relax, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. I stole that one from X's favorite book. It helps me chill the fuck out. I really truly do feel optimistic that everything is unfolding exactly as it should be for me and for you in love and in life.

Other advice that I've gotten, which may not be at all applicable to you but which I've found really helpful so I'll spew it out anyway, is that the right man will make you feel very comfortable and at ease. You won't be worried about defining relationships or moving things along to the next stage, you will feel very calm and secure and relaxed, which allows all of the "stops along the way" (as per the Frank Sinatra song) to happen all on their own. I only half-heartedly believed this before but now I really get what these older and wiser people were talking about. I also finally agree that it's a good idea to let the guy drive when it comes to the speed of the relationship (unless he's driving too fast, of course). We are of course smarter than the menfolk and know a good thing when we see it long before they do but they need time to figure it out at their own, slower pace--it takes a lot of patience, but is a good very general rule of thumb I think, at least at first. I also think the thesis of the jazz song "100 Days, 100 Nights" is completely true-- it takes roughly 100 days for men to get over their initial infatuation and figure out how they really feel about a woman and a relationship and where they are at with themselves and their own life. Even if they think they know what they're doing and that they know themselves and what they want, I think it's always safe to give them about 100 days juuuuuust to make sure. Like how we don't let infants or the insane enter into contracts, same idea. :)

Finally, to top off all my unsolicited advice, is the issue of timing. Timing is king. A relationship must have the blessing of timing. Things happen when they are ready to happen, I really and truly believe that. I didn't feel that I personally was really ready with all aspects of my life to meet "the one" or whatever we shall call him (I don't really believe in the concept of "the one", I think there are many people we could all lead happy lives with) until I got the lease on my apartment in X on Y, which was the last piece of having all the components of my life and myself in order and set up the way I wanted them. And maybe I am wrong, maybe I'll still not ready, in which case, the universe is unfolding exactly as it should and I'm sure everything will work out for me, and then I am a little excited about whoever this new superman of my future I haven't met yet will be.

Alrighty, I think that's all for now. Thank you for humoring me and giving me an excuse to reflect a little and put off revising this X.

Big hug,

X

CMA Awards Fashion Recap!

The CMA Awards aired last night on ABC and, if I do say so myself, it was very entertaining! Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood really do have some comic magic with one another and it seems like they get better and better every year with their hosting duties [either that, or they're getting better writers. Maybe its both!].

I am somewhat surprised to say that the fashion last night was pretty darn spot on! The hair is quite another story, but for the most part everyone looked phenominal.

One interesting exception......Laura Bell Bundy.

Now there is something interesting about this dress that I do enjoy, but the environment was not correct. This is the CMA Awards honey, not Water for Elephants nor Dancing with the Stars. I think that this dress could have been more of a hit if she had just let the skirt fall, but unfortunately, most of her poses looked like this

Laura Bell, this may be why your budding career has been reduced to appearing in car commercials. Just sayin'.

Carrie Underwood on the other hand was Stunning.

She had more outfit changes than I could even count last night, and with a few exceptions [that Britney Spears/Michael Jackson throwback outfit for example] all of her looks were gorgeous. I especially love this dress that she wore on the red carpet. The golds go perfectly with her hair and skin tones. Well done!

Now THIS is what a sharped dress man looks like!

Well done, Lionel Richie.

Faith Hill looked absolutely stunning, if not a little too thin. Perhaps her friend Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing off on her?

Now I'm not a huge Jennifer Nettles/ Sugarland fan, but I absolutely adore this dress that Jennifer wore on the red carpet was flawless. To be fair, it's totally my style and if I were ever in need of a formal dress, I would probably gravitate to something like this. She looks great in it!

Miranda Lambert looked gorgeous, and luckily, her red carpet dress seemed to fit better than the one she accepted her award in.

The guys and gal of Lady Antebellum looked phenomenal per usual. These guys get it right almost every time.

Ok, now. This is where the CMA fashion gets interesting. This is where the CMAs get interesting in general. The Band Perry. Frankly, I despise their song "If I Dye Young", but evidently CMA voters disagree with me. What we can probably all agree on is that these brothers need some HELP, specifically with the hair.

The one on the left actually looks pretty dapper from the neck down, but that MOP. I mean, does he not have a mirror? Can he not see that hair?? The girl is quite lovely and both of her dresses last night were out of the ballpark successes. The one on the far right needs new pants. And no, I do not know any of their names.

The ladies of Little Big Town look phenom. I absolutely love the beading on both of their dresses and they look absolutely stunning. Doesn't hurt that they have a Lionel Richie in between them.

Now, here's another place where hair comes into play. I dont have anything terrible to say about Nicole Kidman's dress, but I am absolutely despising her hair these days. To her credit, the color may be for a film role, but it's just too drab for her. She needs a richer red to brighten up her skin tone. The End.

I actually quite liked LeAnn Rimes hair, make up and dress, but I do dearly wish that she would eat more. She is adamant that she doesn't have an eating disorder and that may very well be true, but I wish she would recognize that this level of thin just isn't attractive. Put some meat on those bones sister!

And onto Taylor Swift......don't worry, I actually have nice things to say [for the most part]. I really, really like this dress on her. It is not flesh colored, it is not too young, but also not too matronly, and it isn't beaded [not that I'm mad at a beaded dress, and she can rock one like no other, I just like to see her mix it up!].

I will, however, hop on my soapbox once again about, you guessed it, her hair! What is with these people and their hair? She has a gorgeous head of signature curls, but this color is so, so boring. Not so long ago, she had a great golden blonde in her hair and it looked beautiful. If she wants to lean towards a slightly darker color, I fully support that and think she would be beautiful has a brunette, but even if she doesn't go that dark she has GOT to put some dimension in her hair.

If you were not able to watch the awards show last night, you'll just have to trust me that it was hilarious. Check out the video of the opening below and you'll get a little peek at what I mean.

Music Monday: Album Review Continued

FLORENCE + THE MACHINE, "CEREMONIALS"

HIGH POINTS: Um, pretty much all of it. I enjoyed the last Florence album, but I rarely listened to it from top to bottom. This one, however, I simply cannot stop listening to. From "Shake It Out" to "Never Let Me Go" to "Spectrum", I love almost every single song and that my friends is rare.

LOW POINTS: This entire album is truly strong, but if I HAD to pick, my least favorites would probably be "Breaking Down", and maybe "Heartlines". Even though they are my lease faves, I still really, really like them!

OVERALL: Buy this album, Buy this album, Buy this album. I give it Five out of Five FRIENDS.

RYAN ADAMS, "ASHES AND FIRE"

HIGH POINTS: Ladies and Gents, it has felt like one hot minute since we've had a new Ryan Adams album [even though it's really only been a year] and therefore it could've been an album full of crap and I probably still would've drank it up. I'm loving "Dirty Rain", "Ashes & Fire", "Come Home", "Lucky Now", and "I Love You But I Don't Know What To Say".

LOW POINTS: Much like with the new Florence albu, I pretty much enjoy this one top to bottom. If you skipped "Do I Wait" and "Kindness" it probably wouldn't kill you, but I don't recommend it.

OVERALL: I say buy it. I feel confident that if you are a Ryan Adams fan, you won't be disappointed [although its hard to tell with his followers]. I give it four and a half out of five FRIENDS.

Music Monday: Album Review

There has been SO MUCH new music in the past month that it has almost been hard to keep up! Let's review some of the top new releases below, shall we?

KELLY CLARKSON, "STRONGER"

HIGH POINTS: When you release an album that is 17 tracks long, you are bound to have some fantabulous gems hidden in there somewhere. A few of my personal favorites are "Dark Side", "The War is Over", "Let Me Down", "You Can't Win", "The Sun Will Rise" and "Why Don't You Try". I am also pretty obsessed with Kelley's duet with Jason Aldean, "Don't You Wanna Stay". That is one solid song.

LOW POINTS: I'm a huge fan of Kelly, but there is definitely some cheesiness on this album. I initially turned my nose up at "Einstein" with lyrics like "Dumb plus Dumb equals you" [but I will admit that the song itself has grown on me]. You could also probably skip over "I Forgive You" and not miss it.

OVERALL: I did not love this album as much as her last one upon my first listen, but I promise the more you listen the more you will love it. I give it 3.5 out of 5 FRIENDS.

COLDPLAY, "MYLO XYLOTO"

HIGH POINTS: I posted about "Major Minus" here and "Paradise" here and those continue to be two of my favorite songs. I also enjoy "Charlie Brown", "U.F.O.", "Up In Flames", "Don't Let It Break Your Heart", and "Up With the Birds".

LOW POINTS: I standy by my previous posts that "Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall" and "Princess of China" are the weakest points on this album. I also don't love "Hurt Like Heaven" but only because it makes me think I am listening to Phoenix. Coldplay, you don't need to be Phoenix- you guys are awesome on your own.

OVERALL: I'll admit, I was completely wrong about this album in the beginning. You can't judge a book by it's cover or, in this case, an album by a single. I actually really, really love this album as a whole and I was pleasantly surprised by that. I give it four out of five FRIENDS!

Stay tuned for more reviews!

Only on E!

It's kind of amazing that E! hasn't already developed a divorce special for Kim Kardashian, but if they did, I'm sure it would look a lot like the below.

NEW MUMFORD NEW MUMFORD NEW MUMFORD

My own personal soul mate, Marcus Mumford, and his very small and hardly known band, Mumford & Sons, has debuted a new song in honor of my sweet Nuni's birthday. I always get excited anytime I see the words "new" and "Mumford" in the same sentence, but I can't decide how I feel about this one. I obviously do not hate it [I could never!], but for some reason I am not instantly drawn to it. However, I was wrong about the new Coldplay [more on that later], so perhaps I will be head over heels in love with this song after a few more listens.

I would also like to say, how awful is this DJ or whoever that is talking to them? Gross! I could've done a much better job [just ask JWoww or Snooki].

Filed Under: I Can't

Every now and again I come across a product that is so freaking ridiculous that I just have to share it.

Ladies, do you ever get penis envy? Maybe not in the traditional sense, but have you ever just wished that you could pee standing up? I am going to be honest here and say that having that ability would be incredibly convenient. I am also going to be honest and say that I would never use a "device" to assist me in this. If you find yourself disagreeing with me, then by all means, check out the P-Mate! For only $4.95 you too can piss like a man!

1. Simply pop open the P-Mate, move your underwear aside, and place the cupped opening against your body under the flow area between your legs.

2. Tilt hips so funnel faces slightly downwards. Relax and pee!

You can remove any drops left behind by slowly moving the P-mate to the front, and catching them with the back of the P-mate

If your problem is of the more lady like variety, say you're worried about your boots messing up your pedicure in the wintertime, we have a product for YOU as well. Obviously the solution here is to create a boot with a removable toe. Le Duh. Why didn't you think of that?

That's right ladies, Christmas is just around the corner, so get your Bootie Pies Here!

Bless It

Look at how purdy Adele looks on the cover of December's issue of Cosmo!

Meow! I don't always love animal print but she is totally rocking it here. Just cause you look great, doesn't mean I'm totally letting you off the hook. I'm Still Mad.