As Long As We're Together It Can Always Only Be..........Misery

Don't these two look like the most miserable couple on the face of the earth? I see so many things wrong with this picture. Let's dissect.

1. I really don't know what's up with the goatee, Brad. Does Angie like the way it tickles cha-chas when you kiss her? Because it sure as hades isn't attractive.

2. You're worth like a bagillion dollars- you couldn't get your shoes polished? Heck, spring for a new pair why don't ya!

3. Angelina, we all know that you're a badass, but put on your coat- it's cold outside!

4. Um, what's with the knees? Those are NOT sexy. Those are little old lady knees. It's ok to eat at least every once in awhile. You're aging yourself far beyond your years.

5. It looks to me like they've been fighting. I feel like the way Brad is grabbing Angie's arm is not in a "Honey, look out for the paparazzi" kind of way, but more of a "Dammit woman, you called the paps again after we had a fight" kind of way. I wonder what they were arguing about? Whether they should have more children? Whether Brad should shave that animal off his face? Whether Angie gets to dominate with the dildo tonight? Truthfully, I bet Brad is just pissed cause she wont WEAR HER DAMN COAT.