Cow Tongue

Gakwer is reporting that there are plans to create movie version of Judy Blume's fabulous Ramona Quimby series.

I, for one, love the idea! These were some of my favorite books growing up. There is no way that the movies will be as good as the books, but I suppose it doesn't hurt to try.

Oh hellll no. A movie version of the Ramona Quimby books? Starring Ginnifer Goodwin,Bridget Moynahan, and [shudder] John Corbett? Ugh. Well, Goodwin as Aunt Bea sounds fine. But Moynahan as Ramona's mom? Sigh. Really, the only acceptable screen version ofRamona stars Sarah Polley. [THR] The View rambler Sherri Shepherd has landed a Lifetime comedy pilot. Terrific. [THR]

The Bachelor

So I don't really watch the Bachelor- that is, unless I happen to be with my mom on a random Monday night. In that case, yes, I watch the Bachelor. That did actually happen about a month ago and I saw an episode where this season's bachelor, Jason, was down to [i think] 5 women- he let the mom from Alabama whose husband had died go. I called it then- bastard.

So I come home Monday night and check Facebook [why wouldn't you?]. At least every other person's status said something like "Screw Jason" or "It's like I dont even know Jason" or "I'll never watch the Bachelor again!" or "I'm committing suicide because Jason is an asshole!". My first thought was, "who the heck is this Jason guy and how exactly did he screw over so many of my friends" until I put two and two together [it equals four oddly enough] and realized that the finale of The Bachelor had been that night. Clearly some dramz had gone down and I needed to know what it was, so I changed my status and asked if someone would fill me.

I was not prepared for the information I received.

So apparantly, this JACKASS picks this one girl [their names both start with M's and I dont remember nor truly care which was which] to give the final rose to and proposes to her while send the other girl on her not-so-merry way. Jason, his son, and girl 1 will live happily ever after. 

Or will they?

Apparantly, they will not, because Monday night on the after show, Jason BREAKS UP with Girl 1 on National television and then asks Girl 2 to be with him! Is your brain hurting??? Mine is!

Let's discuss:

First of all, this is reality telelvision- we use the term "reality" as loosely as possible b/c rarely is anything about these shows real. They are usually scripted and the peeps paid and under contract. They basically have to do whatever the producers want. I am not convinced that these girls were not in on the plan the whole time.

Jason, on the other hand, claimed it wasn't planned and that he wanted to break up with Girl 1 off camera but the producers told him that he had a contractual obligation to do it on television. Right. Ok.

But, for a moment, let's pretend that it wasn't planned, wasn't scripted. Let's pretend this is all real life. If that is the case, then what the ?&#% is wrong with Girl 2??? She must be super insane in the membrane if she would take back the man who dumped her on national television then proposed to another, THEN dumped the other girl on national television only to ask her to be with him. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA? and she says YES to THAT??????

Girl is fuuuuuuucked up.

And why do the Bachelors have to propose with the final rose? Why can't they just say "Yo trick, I really like you, lets han gout and bump some nasties and then maybe one day i will want you to be my baby mama". I mean, it works in the hood.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Evidently, I do. 

I had a screener to go see this movie on Monday night, and I figured, why not? I didn't know anything about the book, and honestly didn't have a serious interest in it, but who can say no to a free movie?

I brought along a friend who actually WAS very excited about the movie and is a big fan of the book. I figured this way we would have two very differing views going into the movie and perhaps would have differing opinions after our viewing was over. 

I was wrong. We mostly agreed.

First of all, the movie is WAY to long, coming in just shy of three hours. I thought the movie wrapped up nicely and that it all made sense in the end, but there were a lot of unnecessary tangents that made the movie about an hour longer than it needed to be. 

For me, personally, the movie was a tad violent. I get that it was a comic book movie and that these vigilantes are out for justice, I'm just saying, it's definitely not a movie for the kids. 

I thought the movie lacked consistency- if you're going to make it feel like a comic book movie then great, but it can't also be super serious AND super funny [but if you need those emotions to come across, keep it in a comic book feel]. My friend felt as though the characters were really there [i agreed] but that the execution wasn't top notch. I'm also told that the movie strayed from the book quite a bit. 

If you are a Watchmen fan, nothing I say is going to stop you from seeing this movie, nor would I try to- I definitely wouldn't say it sucked. But, if you aren't very familiar with the book or are not totally convinced you want to see this movie, then don't. Save your $9.50 [is that REALLY what movies cost now?] and rent it- that way you can take bathroom breaks whenever you want, because, believe me, this sucker is long!

Beautiful!

Heal for the Honey from Brooke Waggoner on Vimeo.

Say It Ain't So!

THE KWULLET IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanye has done gone and shaved his head! With his ridiculous hair being gone, what will I talk about now??? How normal he is dressed? That's boring. Maybe I could talk about his crazy shoes? No, they're just regular ole New Balances. What on earth could I give Kanye shit about? Hmmmmm.

Oh yeah. His new girlfriend. 

Bashing coming soon to  blog near you.

I Cry Tears

I laughed so hard at the clip below that I literally had tears coming out of my eyeballs. It just doesn't get any better than a Justin Timberlake/ Jimmy Fallon combo. Also, I enjoy that Robert de Niro is so incredibly uncomfortable and bored.

Enjoy!

Filed Under: Go Buy This Now!

Seriously, pre-order Kelly Clarksons new album IMMEDIATELY. It is SO.GOOD. It is truly pop music at its finest. If you have ever even remotely liked Kelly then you will love this album. I absolutely guarantee it.

Check out her next single below.

Cry - Kelly Clarkson

Is it just me.....

or do Mileys tatas look totally fake?

Maybe that is what she got for her 16th birthday instead of a car?

Really???

Really, Chris Brown? Really???

You got arrested a mere three weeks ago for beating up your GIRLFRIEND and this is how you "reflect"?

Really??? Your career is possibly over and you are out making happy faces at the paparazzi on a jet ski in Miami? Really???

Oh, and dont even get me started on Rihanna. I will have to devote another "Really???" post just for her if she is back together with the man that she is claiming beat the shit out of her [allegedly- and folks, I am REALLY starting to wonder]. If she really is back with him, then she really is a ReRe {you get what i did just there?}. Really.

MUSIC MONDAY!!!!

I apologize in advance for the shortness of today's Music Monday. I will get in as much music today as I can, but I make no promises. 

For now, enjoy the music below!

Mostly Prove Me Wrong - Fiction Family