Out with the Old, In With the New

Amy Poehler won't be returning to SNL this season (sad). But it appears that someone very funny will be taking her place (happy. See below.)

You've Got To Be Kidding

THIS article has got to be the most ridiculous thing i have ever read. Spencer Pratt: "Jesus and I Are Making the Connection". Are you joking????

Now I'm not one to judge another person's faith or relationship with God, but I can't help put wonder if the PR machines that are Heidi and Spencer are just talking about God and Jesus to drum up some more publicity and prolong their 15 minutes of fame as much as possible. They know that Lauren is intending for this to be the last season of The Hills, and what are they supposed to do when that is over?

Look I think it's great if you want to tell people about your relationship with God.....but only if you MEAN IT. No one is perfect, we all fall short of who we want to be and who we should be. You should be treating people with love and respect anyway, but ESPECIALLY if you know that your actions are going to be broadcast on a major television show to millions of people, ESPECIALLY if those actions are going to directly contradict what you tell the media about how you live your life.

Step up to the plate and be honest with everyone, especially yourself, or change the way you act.

I hate to say I told you so.....

...but I did. I knew that Jen and John wouldn't last. But I'm not one to revel in a broken relationship- I'm not Perez Hilton after all. But I greatly respect the fact that John Mayer spoke with paps on the streets of New York recently to defend himself and Jennifer Anniston and to basically say "this is what happened, this is not what happened. she's great. this sucks" You can watch the vid on TMZ .

One of my favorite quotes from the, er, "interview" is "You’re either a cheater or you break up and I’m not the first one". ZING!

As a result of his honesty, today is John Mayer day at work, and we are currently listening to Where The Light Is .

One Cell in the Sea....

I can't believe it's been right around a year since my obsession with this cd began (and has yet to end). Let A Fine Frenzy grace your life with it's presence.

Charlie Murphy

Check out more music from my buddy Charlie at the myspace

Under My Skin

Ads We Hate

The most annoying commercials in the universe.

By Seth Stevenson

(I've picked a few of my favs but click here for the full article)

I'll get things started with one of my own recent unfaves: the Lincoln Financial Group spots in which people's older, future selves travel back in time to offer guidance. In one, a man is sitting on a plane preparing for takeoff when suddenly his wrinkly future self takes the adjacent seat, looks over, and commends his younger self for saving money by flying coach. After some anodyne advice about the importance of financial planning, the future dude stands up to leave. "Where are you going?" the younger man asks his elder self. "Back to first class; we can afford it now," smiles the older him.

So many problems here. First, the passenger manifest would show two people with the same Social Security number boarding the flight. TSA red flag! But more important: The plane would explode the instant the old man sat down. We all know that meeting a past/future incarnation of ourselves will cause a violent rip in the space-time continuum. And finally: Screw you, future me! You think you're better than present me? It's crowded back here, and there're babies crying! So cough up the first-class ticket, gramps, or I buy a yacht and drain your nascent retirement accounts. Yup, I'll be paying the penalty for early withdrawal, too. We'll see who's smug then!

But wait, there's an even worse Lincoln Financial spot: A woman is waiting in a hospital hallway, her husband apparently in grave danger, when she meets her future self. "How's he doing?" asks the supernatural visitor, and the woman replies that she doesn't know. The future her then launches into an earnest lecture about the importance of good investing. ("We have a plan to help grow and protect our money throughout our life.") Only at the very end of this speech does she casually tack on the information that, oh, by the way, the husband will be fine. So if you knew he'd be fine, why'd you ask? And how dare you make that poor woman sit through a pitch for a brokerage firm before revealing the fate of her husband. Yeesh, future lady. Way to bury the lede.

I especially enjoyed your article about inappropriate musical choices in television commercials. On that note, I wonder if you've seen this spot for Wishbone salad dressing, which uses the song "Bump" by Spank Rock. Sure, they didn't use any of the lyrics, but I have to wonder why they'd create an association between "delicious vinaigrette dressings" and one of the filthiest songs I've ever heard.
—Noreen T.

Well, the ad does say they're changing "everything" about salad dressing. I'd argue that "Bump" is the perfect soundtrack to accompany that mission. Why shouldn't a vegetable vinaigrette conjure sentiments like "You get it from behind, in just Chanel pumps"? For their next ad, I suggest they use "Toss My Salad," by underpublicized genius Filthy Sex Toy. (Given Filthy Sex Toy's graphic lyrics, I must sternly warn you that what you will see should you click on that link is in no way safe for work. And yet I must also stress that fabulous entertainment awaits beyond.)

I remembered you comparing "Vince wit Shamwow" to Billy Mays, and thought you might enjoy seeing Mays' new spiel, selling health insurance.
—Andrew L.

This ad is kind of amazing. Watch Billy Mays' hand gestures—they never stop! Hands go out, palms facing each other. Hands come back in, fists balled. Hands go back out, index fingers extended. It's either OCD or some sort of primitive sign language. I think it's happening because he has no tangible product to demonstrate. They should have let him use a sheaf of insurance documentation to wipe up spills with. Or maybe a wallet card for dabbing on grout?

Whaaaaaaat?????!!!!!

By ROB GILLIES, Associated Press Writer Wed Aug 6, 6:17 PM ET

TORONTO - Greyhound has scrapped an ad campaign that extolled the relaxing upside of bus travel after one of its passengers was accused of beheading and cannibalizing another traveler.

The ad's tag line was "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.'"

Greyhound spokeswoman Abby Wambaugh said Wednesday a billboard and some tunnel posters near a bus terminal in Toronto are still up and would be removed later in the day.

"Greyhound knows how important it is to get these removed and we are doing everything possible," Wambaugh said. "This is something that we immediately asked to be done last week, realizing that these could be offensive."

Vince Weiguang Li, who immigrated to Canada from China in 2004, is charged with second-degree murder in the death of 22-year-old carnival worker Tim McLean. He has yet to enter a plea.

Thirty-seven passengers were aboard the Greyhound from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba, as it traveled at night along a desolate stretch of the TransCanada Highway about 12 miles from Portage La Prairie, Manitoba. Witnesses said Li attacked McLean unprovoked, stabbing him dozens of times.

As horrified passengers fled the bus, Li severed McLean's head, displaying it to some of the passengers outside the bus, witnesses said.

A police officer at the scene reported seeing the attacker hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them, according to a police report.

Wambaugh said the ads only appeared in Canada and that some in Ontario and western Canada have already been removed. About 20,000 inserts of the Greyhound ads were scheduled to be put into an Alberta Summer Games handbook but they stopped the presses.


Um wow, me thinks maybe this guy should be deported? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I've been watching Lost! Even the savages stuck on a deserted island with no food haven't resorted to cannibalism yet!

Thursday's Music!

Check out Santogold . My fave is Creator.

She & Him Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward. What else can you ask for?

My fave is This Is Not A Test

Give Love

There is Hope for the Hopeless

John Mayer: I've Hooked Up With Fans

John Mayer may be begging for mercy from gal-pal Jennifer Aniston after revealing at an event on Tuesday that he's gotten more-than-friendly with his fans.“I might’ve hooked up with people, but as soon as I hooked up with them they weren’t fans anymore, so technically no,” he said during Z100’s Z Lounge With John Mayer held at NYC’s Spotlight Live. “Do you respect me for my honesty? The answer is: Yes I have. Not in a really long time. Not since the cameraphone. That cameraphone will get you, even if you’re sleeping. Your doughy frame all laying in a bed dead-like. I can’t deal with that. I’m not trusting enough to open up to anyone I don’t know very well anymore, which is good for my immune system.”

While former Friends star Jen didn’t appear to be hanging around for the Q&A session, the 30-year-old crooner made it clear he wouldn’t be cracking jokes about his new love in comedy clubs, a mistake he made when he opened up about former flame Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2006.“If you do standup, a lot of the stuff you talk about isn’t true," he expained. "It’s a reference to help illustrate the overall truth and I really can’t get away with getting onstage and talking about poop. I’m aware that there’s a certain focus on the things that come out of my mouth. I have to be really careful. Whenever you get up onstage and do standup, you really are supposed to be able to say what comes to my mind if it’s really thoughtful overall."

But perhaps the worst part about his comedy act — it just didn't get the laughs: "I also wasn’t funny," John confessed.

To check out the rest, click here