OSCARS

The most dreaded day of early 2011 has finally come and gone. We are, of course, talking about the end of awards season. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Awards Season is generally one of the happiest times of the year, mostly because we get to judge people based solely on their appearance [and sometimes their talent or lack thereof] and everyone finds this to be socially acceptable. I think we can all admit that it is a glorious time.

So last night was the be all end all of awards shows- The Academy Awards. Good ole' Oscar himself! It is often entertaining, enjoyable and upsetting. Last night, it was barely any of those things. I was bored to tears for about 99.9% of the broadcast and there was nary an upset. It was a relatively predicatble show. However, I did not predict how utterly awful James Franco and Anne Hathaway would be as hosts. I really had hopes for those two. Oh well, I guess you can't always be right!

Speaking of not being right, lets get right down to it with the Oscar fashion. Now, I realized last night while watching the show that I seemed to have pretty different opinions on the fashions than my co-watchers did. I'm ok with that, but am definitely curious to know your thoughts on the comments below.

Let's start with those who get a grade of FAIL!!!

FAIL

I have to say, I was probably most perplexed by Nicole Kidmans dress. I know for a FACT that Keith Urban has better fashion sense than that dress, so why in the GD Hell he'd let her out of the house in it is a mystery to me. Everything about it is just wrong. I see absolutely no redeeming qualities. On the other hand, her face looks GORGEOUS. The no botox thing is really, really working for her. She had some pretty terrible picks throughout this entire awards season so I think the first item on her to do list should be Get A New Stylist!

Javier is the epitome of yumminess and would've looked phenominal in cargo shorts and a polo shirt, but Penelope really missed the mark on this dress. I will say, this photo looks much better than the live feed from the red carpet, but last night the dress looked ill-fitting, uncomfortable and just not right all around. Penelope looked very uncomfortable in it which I think is the first sign of THIS IS THE WRONG DRESS. I thank the good Lord everyday that my life and career do not require a constant need for formal wear. My Senior prom was one of my most glorious life moments because I knew that rarely to never again would my world revolve around some stupid dress. I legitimately feel for these people- it can't be easy!

Please meet the first dress that me and my co-watchers disagreed on. I just don't like it- so sue me. I KNOW that Natalie can rock this pregnancy because she has done it at other awards shows and done it well. This dress looks like something that she borrowed from Dame Hellen Mirren's closet. She could've done a better job of looking young, fresh and fabulous without looking like a MOM.

Annette Benning's dress was mostly just unflattering. It also kind of looks like a flashy Mother of the Bride dress from David's Bridal. For those of you who are unsure, that's NOT a good thing.

My biggest question for Marisa Tomei is, who made that dress? Frankly, it could've been me [ps, i'm not a great seamstress!]. Why does the sweetheart neckline come almost up to her collar bone? I am supremely confused by this dress.

Um, yeah. World, meet Steven Spielberg's 14 year old daughter. Evidently it was unplanned for her to attend the Oscars with Daddy and she had to make due with one of her mother's old nighties. The look could've worked if she didn't have that HAIR and the "I'll eat your babies. Don't dare me" look on her face. Lets give her a few more years to mature before parading her out to another award show.

MEH

This Valentino dress is quite lovely on Anne Hathaway, but I really, REALLY despise the random flowers from the hip down. They were an unnecessary accent.

I think that Michelle Williams looks lovely and that this dress fits her quite well, but I'm just so BORED with it. Do something exciting for once!!

.

Ok, let me be clear here- Reese Witherspoon really looks phenominal. However, I'm pretty sure they were carrying that dress at Jessica McClintock when I was looking for the afore mentioned prom dress, so I feel like she could've modernized her look a bit and wouldn't have hurt a soul.

Ok, I love, love , love this dress on Amy Adams, but she ruined it for me with the necklace. Big earrings would've been a better choice. Also, the neckline and the sleeves need a bit of proportion. If you want a slight neck, bring the sleeves in, if you want an exaggerated shoulder, bring the neckline down. I think those slight changes would've done wonders for the dress and definitely would've taken it to the next level [that would be the WIN level].

Ok. Jennifer Lawrence is smoking hot. I get that. What I don't get is why she is wearing a jersey knit American Apparel dress to the Oscars. Ok, ok, fine, it's actually Calvin Klein, but you get my point? She looks like she's about to pop over to a bonfire at the beach. The dress is gorgeous and she is totally rocking it, I just dont think that its the right look for the Oscars.

Jennifer Hudson looks AMAZING. Absolutely amazing. She deserves mad mad props for her hard work to lose weight. I actually dont hate this dress. I dont love the color, but I definitely don't hate the dress. I do, however, have one issue. As most people know, if you have any boobs at all and you lose weight, they are generally the first item that you lose. Our dear friend Jennifer has lost EIGHTY pounds on Weight Watchers so I am a little confused why she continues to wear dresses that accentuate her lack of boobies. We have a couple of options here my friend- let me lay them out for you. We can either wear dresses that dont necessarily accentuate the pancake boob, we can tuck those puppies into said dress, or we can fix the problem. Other than that, I think she looks gorgeous.

I really cannot decide if I hate this dress or not. There is something totally unique and lovely about it, but at the same time I can't help thinking that the dress should be serving as a wrapper for a really exotic chocolate bar.

Did Sandra Bullock get the end of her nose clipped? Her face looks weird.

WIN

Love, love, love, love, LOVE this dress. I gotta get on that GOOP diet!

It really took some time for me to decide which category to put this dress in. I ultimately love it, so decided the WIN category was where it belonged. I think with a few tweaks this dress definitely could've been a better version of itself, but I'm still not mad at it. Kate Blanchette totally rocked this look when it wouldn't have worked on a lot of other people.

Love this look. I love that Busy Phillips was only at the Oscars as Michelle Williams date, yet she totally out shined many of the nominees. I want to be her best friend- she looks like fun!

I do not love Hilary Swank, but I do love this dress. Party at the top, Zoo at the bottom. What could be better??

Ok, if I had to give an Academy Award to best dressed overall during Awards Season, it would definitely go to Mila Kunis. She has knocked it out of the park time and time and time again. I love this color on her, I think its a great look for the red carpet, and dog gone it, she gets an Oscar in my eyes!

So, I don't love Scarlett Johannson, but 1) this color and color is WORKING for her. Makes me wanna chop my hair off & 2) I really like this dress. I've never quite seen anything like it and I'm a big fan. The boob portion is slightly odd, but I can overlook that. Nicely done!

The boys of The Social Network were rocking it hard last night. Andrew Garfield gets a big fat ME-OW from this girl.

There's something completley awkward about Jessie Eisenburg that unexplainably makes me want to cuddle him to sleep. He looked like a fox last night.

I'm not sure if it's totally fair to give an escort the pick of BEST DRESSED, but I am completely obsessed with the dress that Marky Mark's wife wore last night. Its got color, its got sparkle, and she is ROCKING IT. Love, love, love it.

And so, dear friends, that brings us to the end of our Award recaps, at least for a few more months. Stay tuned for more and spread the word!

Have a great week one and all!

Britney, Britney, Britney

Ohhhh Britney. Really with this video? Really? I made it no secret that I wasn't a fan of this song when it was released a while back, but this video just adds insult to injury. Talk a look and lets discuss below.

Ok, the first annoying thing about this video is the PRODUCT PLACEMENT. I get it, product placement happens and is often necessary to fund the music videos of today, but yeesh oh yeesh, dont you think you guys could've been a pinch more subtle with it? The PlentyofFish.com plug was by far the worst. Couldn't they have been a little bit more creative with how they included it in the vid? The Creative Director for this video should be taken out back and shot.

I also think its pretty interesting how many camera cuts they have to do during the dance sequences. Everyone remember when BritBrit was one of the best dancers around? Now they wont even put the cameras on her because she can't keep up. Being an aging pop star must really be a hard thing for a person.

Can we also address the 10 foot tall white dress with paint all over it and the very odd and out of place female wrestling scene? Did Jayden and Sean Preston come up with the ideas for this video? Come on! You are worth, like, a bajillion dollars. Can't we get some people in here that know what they're doing??

I also find it HILARIOUS that the title of her new album is Femme Fatale. The actual definition of Femme Fatale is "a mysterious and seductive woman whose charms ensanre her lovers in gonds of irresistable desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations".

Does this look like a Femme Fatale to you?

Didn't think so.

Britney, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it might be time to figure out some other "talents". Your breed of pop star is a dying form, and I can see the life slipping out of your career as we speak.

Arcade Fire

To the folks who said "Who?" when Arcade Fire won Album of the Year at the Grammys on Sunday I say, "Shame on you! Have you been living under a rock??". Now for those who may have said "I've never really listened to them" I'd say "That's fair". I have owned Arcade Fire's first two albums Funeral and Neon Bible for quite some time, but never really got into them. However, with the bands newest album The Suburbs being one of my favorite albums of 2010, I had to go back, re-listen to the first two and question why I didn't love them all along.

Nonetheless, if you haven't liked them in the past, give them a second chance. Sometimes thats all it takes. Here's a few videos from their session at KROQ in LA.

King of Limbs

Dear Radiohead,

Don't you know that I dont have internet access on Saturdays?? Guess I'm gonna have to find some.

Do it.

**UPDATE**: RADIOHEAD HAS HEARD MY LACK OF SATURDAY INTERNET CRIES AND RELEASED THE ALBUM TODAY! YIPPEE!!!! GET YOUR COPY HERE!

It's An Oat Revolution!

Alright everybody, bear with me as I take a step away from the gossip and the music to shamelessly plug an item that has quickly become near and dear to me. Folks, I am talking about instant oatmeal, but not just any instant oatmeal. No, no friends, this is the most delicious instant oatmeal I've ever had. We're talking about Oat Revolution.

A friend of mine posted about Oat Revolution recently on Facebook and it definitely piqued my interest. I've always liked Oatmeal [my mom used to make us actual Oats on the stove all the time when we were kids- yum!], but like many people, I grow weary of the same old boring instant oatmeal after a while. That giant Quaker box from Sams that I always think I need never seems to get used. So my friend posted that it was the most delicious instant oatmeal she'd ever have and that it was really inexpensive.

My first thought was: looks like health food oatmeal. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all, but in my experience, "health foods" are hit or miss. They are either the most delicious thing you've ever tasted, or you'd rather eat toilet paper. There's rarely an in between.

My second thought was: can't be that cheap. The most delicious of the health foods are never the cheapest. Her idea and my idea of cheap had to be completely different. Nonetheless, I made a mental note to check out Oat Revolution on my next grocery store trip.

I popped into Whole Foods on Sunday for a few things and thought, surely they'll have this expensive and healthy oatmeal here. Oddly enough, they didn't. I was perplexed. ON Tuesday, I did some real grocery shopping at a regular ole grocery store and made my way down the cereal aisle hoping for a find. And there it was, in all it's healthy looking glory: Oat Revolution! And you wanna know what? It was as inexpensive as my friend had said. 5 for $5 in fact! So I snatched up a few different flavors: Maple & Brown Sugar, Strawberries and Cream, and Cinnamon and Spice.

I started in on the Maple & Brown Sugar box yesterday morning and, folks, let me tell you, this stuff is DELICIOUS. It really does taste like stove top oats with brown sugar like my mom used to make. It's outrageously filling and, as it turns out, IS good for you too. I can't wait to finish this box off so I can try another flavor.

The moral of this story is ultimately that my friend was right, now I'm right too, and you CAN believe everything you read on Facebook.

And no, I was not paid to promote this product, but yes, I would take a lifetime supply for free.

Trip Hop Thursday

I love Das Racist. You should too. Thus far, they have done no wrong in my eyes. I've got this song on repeat.

BBU featuring Das Racist – Please, No Pictures by Hypetrak

Jessica Lea Mayfield

Love, love, loving Jessica Lea Mayfield today. She reminds me a bit of Kathleen Edwards[ who I also love], but with a bit more grit and a little less humor. Check her out below.

To The Readers

Thank you! This has been a really big week for the blog and, if I'm being honest, I'm not totally sure why. There seem to be quite a few "newbies"- I'd love to hear how you heard of the blog! To everyone that has been consistently reading even when I'm terrible at consistently posting, I appreciate you more than you know.

For those of you who are new, I have a very silly sense of humor and I think that comes off often in the blog. You may not always understand it, and that's ok. What's not ok is writing hateful comments for no reason. That's not what this blog is about. Everything is meant to be satirical and funny and never too serious. I love, love, love reading comments and I always appreciate your suggestions, but name calling is not nice.

Lovez You All!

Your Friend Lela

Someone Call the Authorities....

....because it should be illegal how cute this picture is!

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelly's little girl Naleigh is just about the cutest little bug I have ever seen. This picture is precious.

Sweet Pacey

Say what you will about James Van Der Beek, but Dawson has never quite done it for me. I'm more of a Pacey kind of girl. I have loved Joshua Jackson since he played Charlie in "The Mighty Ducks" and I think that he and Diane Kruger just make the most adorable couple. Agree?

Yeeeeeeaaaa Man

This year's Bonnaroo line up is SO EXCITING. It has made me forget all about attempting to get to Coachella. Check out some fantastic 'Roo jams below!

Oh Boy

I can tell you just by looking at this one picture that I have absolutely zero interest in seeing Jude Law's new movie "Contagion".

Agree? Yah, I thought so.

These Are the Things My Nightmares Are Made Of

Boo!

GRAMMYS

Last night I felt very inspired by my roots and decided that I was going to make homemade meatballs and marina sauce, both from scratch. This turned out to be quite a process and I ended up missing the red carpet [thank goodness for DVR!]. The meal turned out to be wonderful. I unfortunately cannot say the same thing for all of the red carpet fashions. Lets dive in!

FAIL:

Martina McBride. What are you doing? What, what, WHAT are you doing? This dress is, simply, ugly. I'm assuming that the designers were trying to achieve balance by doing a sleeve on one side, and extra length on the other, but this dress is anything but centered. She looked absolutely smashing during the Aretha Franklin tribute. That dress would've been a much better option for the Red Carpet.

Oh don't mind Gretchen Wilson! She just thought she was headed out to Tootsie's to drink some Jack Daniels [straight up, if you please]. She doesn't even know where she is!

Enough. Enough already. I mean seriously, you're just being weird now to be weird. It isn't art. It isn't clever. Its just freaking weird. Nobody gets your weirdness, so just quit it. If you didn't want to walk the red carpet and do interviews, then just say that. I've had enough Gaga.

Just because I wanted to include her in the Fail portion twice, here it is again: FAIL.

Whoooooaaaaaaa! Did any one else know that Ricky Martin was gay?? If you didn't, you do now. The shame in this outfit is that from the waist up, he looks like a sexy mofo. I'm not so much mad at the metallic-ness of his pants, but more the fit. Why not go for a perfectly tailored metallic suit pant instead? Much more sophisticated, but same general effect. Sorry Ricky. Fail.

I do not even know who this trick is, but FAIL FAIL FAIL. Really? A dress with music notes on it to the GRAMMYS. Clever.

No Ma'am, Ciara. Just no.

Ok. I'm sure that being a pregnant woman looking for formal wear is about as fun as a whale shopping for skinny jeans, but SURELY there have got to be better options than this dress. First of all, the COLOR. It looks like the color of a baby's nursery [perhaps she did that on purpose?]. The dress itself is not a horrible cut, but it would've been much better in like a royal blue or, for heavens sake, BLACK.

Cyndi, what in the GD hell are you doing? The problem with the Lady Gaga culture is that everyone, including old ass no longer relevant pop stars, feel like they have to up their "weird factor" in order to be noticed. NEWSFLASH: You don't. In fact, we'd all much rather notice you in a gorgeous gown than a very strange leather get up.

I'm having a hard time deciding why a man as sexy as Usher would choose an outfit as unfortunate as this one.

I really, really like Nicole Kidman and I always want to love what she's wearing, but in this case, I just don't. I don't get the ruffles and the colors are drab. There's always the Oscars!

I think that Jordin Sparks is just precious, but this dress makes her look OLD. I'm not certain of her current age, but I think she is around 22ish. This dress makes her look closer to 40. It is a Davids Bridal bridesmaids dress on crystal meth. She could have done much, much better.

Ok, this child is only TEN YEARS OLD. She should not be responsible for dressing herself. Jada oughtta be ashamed of herself for letting this innocent soul out of the house dressed like this. One day, in the near future [teenage years are just around the corner.....], Willow is going to remember this outfit and she is going to HATE YOU Jada. And you will deserve it. Get ready now because 13 year old girls are FUN.

So Hayley from Paramore rarely makes good fashion decisions, so I can't say that this atrocious outfit totally surprises me, but I'm holding out hope that one day, ONE DAY, she will give a shit and wear something that is actually cute and flattering. Rule #5 of the Red Carpet: Nobody wants to see your belly button.

Really, Adam Levine? Harem pants? Really? This guy keeps expecting us to believe he's straight wearing crap like this? Not buying it.

Ok, strangely enough, I think I see what Katy Perry was going for here, however, the goal was not quite achieved. I question mostly the material of the skirt. It looks like its made of either paint drop cloths or shower curtain liners [its a toss up]. Maybe she was planning ahead in case someone spilled red wine on her dress? When it's made of plastic, I suppose that makes for easy cleanup. The other confusing portion to me is the angel wings. That combined with the bedazzled bra makes it look like she is about to walk in a Victoria's Secret fashion show. I just........no.

Ok, so I get that everyone is trying to out weird one another with their fashion [and i use the term loosely] choices, but this is over the top. Nicki happens to be a very talented rapper and collaborater, but in my humble opinion, she is cheapening her talents by dressing like an IDIOT.

Lenny Kravitz did not do well picking his Grammy attire, but I still wouldn't say no.

MEH:

OK Beibs, I get that you're just a kid and your personal sense of style hasn't completely kicked in. I'm not totally mad at your cream colored tux, in fact, you look semi dapper. However, please invest in a pair of black dress shoes. The sneakers are simply not cutting it, especially since they are so WHITE compared to your suit.

While I may never understand why the Jersey Shore kids seem to be invited to EVERYTHING these days, I still love Snooki's dress. The shoes are not my fave [her toes are hanging off!], but the dress is sassy.

I somehow don't competely hate Natasha Beddingfields dress, but at the same time I feel like it's a bit too much. Also, the hair is completely crap. You were close Natasha!

So I was completely torn as to whether I should put Miley as a "MEH" or a "WIN". I actually like her overall look, and her make up looks fresh and young which I love. I ultimately decided on a "MEH" based on the fact that 1) while pretty, her dress is still an animal print and 2) there is way too much side boob going on.

I really, really, really wanted to give Jennifer Hudson a win because she looks so AMAZING, but I simply cannot stand the fact that this dress is Party in the front, Grammys in the back. If you cannot decide between gown length and cocktail length, please do not just compromise and go with both! When in doubt, floor length automatically looks better than cocktail.

I want to applaud B.o.B for wearing a red blazer and trying to mix it up, but overall I think he missed the mark on this outfit. I am especially confused by the scarf [?] around his waist.

Help me! Something about this outfit is OFF, but I can't put my finger on it. I think the mistake is happening somewhere around the jacket or the tie, but I'm just not sure.

I hate, hate, hate to give my beloved Mumford and Sons anything but a win [especially since they didn't actually win last night], and I even started out with them in the WIN category, but then I realized that my conscience couldn't live with that decision. Frankly, Marcus looks like a sexy mofo [I cannot wait for him to fall in love with me now that he's my neighbor], but Winston and Ben really need to quit it with those hats [ESPECIALLY Winston]. Ben looks like a young Robert Downey Junior, and I'm not mad at that, I just wish that he had said "NO" when J.Lo offered to let him borrow her hat, and I wish he had on a tie. Rule # 8 of the Red Carpet: A Tie makes everything look better.

WIN:

Dayum Girl! WORK. IT. This dress is FABULOUS and I think it's perfect for the Grammys. It's dressy enough to be appropriate, but it's flashy enough to be fun. It is a pinch short, but JLo definitely has the legs to pull it off, so I say do it up sister! My only question- how comfortable is the dress? It looks like it would be HEAVY. A++.

UGGGGGGHHHH. Now THIS is a dapper man. Black on black on half black. Couldn't come up with a better combination if I tried. PS- anybody else catch Drake doing the boner walk off stage during his performance with Rihanna? That was kind of mean of her to do that to him on national television. Something tells me he wasn't complaining.

My only suggestion for the ruggedly handsome Ray LaMontagne is to add a TIE. Please refer to Rule #8.

Ok, I have a feeling that some of you guys are going to disagree with me on this one, but I love, love, loved Florence Welch's dress. It is just the right amount of weird to make it uniquely her, but not so weird that it gets lost in translation. This is perhaps the perfected version of Bjork's Oscar outfit from so many years ago. Givenchy did Florence RIGHT. A++

Bruno Mars kind of needs a hair cut, but damn if he didn't look fly as hell. I feel like he is the long lost member of the Rat Pack. Rule #9 of the Red Carpet: You can forgo a tie if and only if you instead have a pocket square.

Metallics obviously reigned supreme as far as the women were concerned last night. Heidi Klum looked absolutely fabulous in hers, but then again, Heidi Klum could've worn a potato sack and out shined everyone else.

Now this is a good Grammy look for a band. Sanctus Real brought the sophistication last night. My only suggestion? Ditch the plaid tie.

Monica is bringing the SASS with this dress. Dear Lady Gaga, THIS is how you do a look with exaggerated shoulders. Boo-yah!

Meeeeow. If I am not mistaken, these boys are wearing Gucci, and my oh my are they wearing it well.

Despite the fact that John Mayer looks like a drug lord aspiring to be Johnny Depps stunt double, I still wouldn't say no.

This dress is super cute and flattering. Kelly Osbourne looks phenominal.

The rappers really brought the style last night. LL is lookin flyyyyyyyy.

This may be one of the best red caret looks that I have ever seen on Miranda Lambert. Well done!

Something about this look makes me want to say that it's wrong, but they did such a good job of looking like completely rock stars that I simply cannot fault it.

Divorce is looking GOOD on Miss Eva Longoria, unlike some other folks [*cough* Christina Aguilera *cough*].

Now THIS is how you dress for the Grammys. Maybe next time, we'll have a lesser dose of awkwardness. PS- why in the world did the Grammys not ask the Black Keys to perform last night? Weird.

I think Sara Bareilles looks great, but she needs a little pizazz! The hair should be sassier or she should have on some blinging jewelery [those bangles do not count]. Overall, I think this is a good look on her.

Um, where the F did the rest of Paul Wall go? You guys remember Paul Wall, the rapper, right? As in, "Ya, ya, ya grillz, ya, ya, ya grillz"? As in, he used to look like this:

What in the world happened to him? As another side note, he is currently serving as President of the Texas Chapter of the Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences. I never imagined that Paul Wall would be the President of anything!

No clue why Kim Kardashian is at the Grammys, but she looks phenominal in that dress.

I like what Diddy is doing here. He's mixing it up from the standard suit and tie, but he is still dressed appropriately for a high class event. Sean John can dress me any day.

Ok, I really don't care for LeAnn Rimes and I desperately wish she would eat something, but I begrudgingly love everything about this look. Dammit.

I simply adore Julianne Houghs dress. It was a nice stand out in a sea of metallics.

Look everybody! Selena Gomez is all grown up! She is in that award place in life where she's not quite an adult, but she is just a little more than a teenager. This dress fits that life stage perfectly. It's age appropriate without being too sexy. Well done!