Oscars Fashion Recaps

So did anyone else manage to stay awake during the Oscars last night? I managed it, God only knows how, but I was bored to tears for the majority. So many strange little bits that were meant to be funny but instead came off as totally awkward, for example, when Billy Crystal did the bit about "what the audience is thinking" or when Robert Downy Jr. came out filming a fake documentary and Gwyneth Paltrow fake yelled at him. That was incredible uncomfortable.

I suppose the entertainment value of the actual awards show is neither here nor there because the fashion is what REALLY matters. Let's get to it!

LOVE IT

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes! Gwyneth brought her pimp cape to the Oscars and I LOVE IT. Gwyn Gwyn can be slightly annoying sometimes and I'd be lying if I didn't wish a stage fall upon her last night, but she brings her A Game where fashion is related. I love this ensemble and boo on you if you don't.

HATE IT

This....I mean, this just confuses me. First of all, I think that Stacy Keibler is a very pretty girl, but has anyone told George that she used to be a wrestler? They just seem like an odd pairing to me, although they do make an incredibly attractive couple. My issue, obviously, is with her dress. Why did so many people try to dress like the female version of the Oscar statue last night [Meryl Streep I'm looking at you] ? This dress is pretty gross.

MEH

I feel confident that I am going to get yelled at for this one, but I just wasn't head over heels in love with Jessica Chastain's Alexander McQueen dress. Yes, the black and gold is quite glamorous and I appreciate it for that, but does no one else think it looks like they pulled down the drapes out of the Beast's castle and made her dress out of them? Belle is gonna be pissed!

LOVE IT

I absolutely love this dress and the Old Hollywood vibe that Milla Jovovich is channeling, however I must comment on her evil stare! For the duration of the red carpet, she maintained a stare reminiscent of Natasha [of Bullwinkle fame, of course]. Perhaps all those Resident Evil movies are finally getting to her? Take the scary eyes out of it and she looked va-va-voom!

HATE IT

Sandra, what is happening with that dress??? Sure, it looks comfy as all get it, but the proportions are ALLLLLLLLL wrong. Who picked that out for you, your baby????

MEH

Love or hate this dress, you've really got to root for Shailene Woodley for the simple fact that she went from an awful television show on the nation's most awful network to a being in a movie with George Clooney that was nominated for oodles of Oscars. Get it gurl! As far as the dress is concerned, I do think that I really like it (although it kind of looks like it's made of fondant), but it does age her quite a bit. It might have been more appropriate on an Angelina Jolie or Glenn Close.

LOVE IT

Dear Emma Stone, don't you wanna be my friend? I absolutely adore this dress, I adore her hair, I adore her makeup, and I adore that she rocks a shade or red dress with a shade of red hair. HOW DOES SHE DO IT? Approximately 1/2 of my wardrobe has been eliminated since going red because red on red often just looks crazy. She makes it look genius. You did good, kid.

HATE IT

Is her dress made of sprinkles? What the heck is this?

MEH

I do quite like this dress, but I despise that haircut and I despise those shoes. The way the dress falls over them, they totally look like 90's style platforms. Ew, and the way her toes are falling over the edge....gross. I can't. I think Bridesmaids probably ruined Rose Byrne for me forever. She played the wicked witch so well in the movie that I am completely convinced that is how she is in real life. Also, she needs to eat some cake or something. She's giving Angelina a run for her money.

LOVE IT

Beautiful. Lovely. Perfect in every way. The only thing I would change is the color of the clutch.

HATE IT

Oh, Melissa. Melis, Melis, Melis. You tried, honey, you really did. It isn't hard being a full figured woman in Hollywood and you did look beautiful, but it was not because of this dress. For the most part the dress is fine, but it's the fabric across her bust that ruins it. It looks like there's two strands of diamonds holding back two watermelons. That does not equal a good time. It's ok to be large and in charge and sometimes its better to flaunt it than hide it! When you try to hide, you often end up with extra fabric that in fact makes you look heavier. Lesson learned!

MEH

I simply cannot decide on this one. There is something about this dress that I quite like and then again, it looks like it belongs in Gone With The Wind so it's really hard to say. I do know for a fact, however, that her hair is a-tro-cious.

LOVE IT

I think the color of this dress is simply fabulous, and Glenn Close is totally rocking it! It is glamorous and chic, all while being age appropriate. Well done, Albert Nobbs!

HATE IT

I have kind of been going back and forth between "Hate It" and "Meh" on this one, but Rooney finally ended up in the "Hate It" category. It's hard to take her seriously when all I see is this:

MEH

This gets a "meh" mostly because Angelina's red carpet looks are either Hideous or Boring and nothing more less or in between. Mostly I am concerned for her leg. Is her hip out of place? Was she in some kind of weird skiing accident that has left her leg permanently disfigured? Was she in labor during the Oscars? Has Death Become Her?

LOVE IT

I think Viola Davis looks absolutely stunning in this gown [and green always compliments the red carpet] and I LOVE that she didn't wear a wig. Granted, her boobies look a little weird and smooshed, but over all, the look is fabulous.

MEH

Kristin Wigg looked great, but she gets a "meh" because once again, the trend seems to be "let me try to get my hair, skin and dress all the same color!" Whyyyy do you insist on doing this Hollywood? Was it another (albeit more subtle) attempt to look like Oscar himself? The dress itself is beautiful, I just think the over all look was lacking.

LOVE IT

Now this dress. THIS DRESS is a dress. This is how a full figured woman rocks the Oscars [Melissa McCarthy take note]. The pattern of the beading and the cinching at the waist takes at least 10 pounds off of Octavia Spencer. It looks good on ya, gurl!

LOVE IT

Despite the fact that J.Lo looks like an angry monster in this picture, I just can't help but love this dress. She needs to call the Warden cause her areola is trying to escape! She was really into showing off her Jenny's From the Block last night, but other than that, I think she looked gorgeous.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, wraps up our Awards Season Fashion Recap! Oh, until April when we review the Academy of Country Music Awards Red Carpet, and you KNOW that stuff is gonna be good. And now, I leave you with this. Enjoy.

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